Page 68 of The Addendum

I lifted her hand and kissed the palm, pressing it to my face. “Thank you.”

“Just…” She trailed off and swallowed.

“Just what, sweetheart? Say it.”

“Just don’t pursue this child and forget about your other ones. You’ve been so wrapped up in the test results and worry, you barely spent any time with Gracie or Kylie this week. Gracie noticed and was upset. You have to find a balance. You can’t force a relationship with Ashley or become so intent on it that you hurt our other children.”

I stared at her, horrified. “I didn’t mean to. I’ve just been so deep in my head—”

She cut me off. “I know. The what-ifs were driving me crazy too. But you know now. And Ashley said she would be in touch. Give her time. Reconnect with your life here. You need that to face the future.”

“I dread telling them. Seeing their reaction.”

“I know you do, but you have to do it. You have to be the one to tell them before they find out in some other fashion. As shocking as this news may be to you, my darling, your children are aware you have a past and aren’t perfect.”

Her words brought a smile to my face. “I know.”

“Then give them some credit.”

I nodded. “Should I wait until Heather is back?”

“You should tell Gracie soon. She knows something is wrong. I don’t want her more upset than she has to be with her being pregnant.”

“All right. I’ll tell her first. I’ll get the other three on the computer and tell them.” I scrubbed my face. “Jesus, I think I feel ill.”

“This isn’t the end of the world, Richard. It’s another person to add into the family if that is what she wants. Someone else to love. You need to stop thinking of her as destroying your life and think about what could happen. The girls get another sister. The boys get someone else to tease. You get someone else to fuss over.”

“And what do you get?”

“Another small piece of you to love. I want to welcome her if she’ll allow it. Let her know she’s not as alone as she thinks she is. I look forward to sharing our history, hearing hers. Finding common ground.”

I stared at her in amazement. “How did you get so wise? So amazing?”

She lifted her shoulders. “Always have been. You just forget sometimes.”

I wrapped my arms around her. “I love you, Katy VanRyan.”

“I love you.”

I pressed a kiss to her head. “Thank you,” I murmured, my voice catching. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You never have to find out,” she promised.

I held on to those words like a lifeline.

21

RICHARD

The day after meeting with Ashley in Halton’s office, Gracie and Jaxson came to our house, holding hands. Gracie looked anxious, and I bent and kissed her cheek. “Hey, baby girl.”

“Dad,” she responded.

“Mom has coffee. I thought we’d talk in the kitchen. She made you some herbal tea since you’re off caffeine right now.”

She offered me a tight smile.

“Kylie with Addi and Bray?”