Page 30 of The Addendum

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

She tilted her head to look at me. I saw the sorrow in her gaze, but it was the uncertainty that hit me in the gut.

“You have to know I would never cheat on you. This was before we were together.”

“I know.”

“Yet you questioned it.”

“I was in shock.” She shrugged. “Still am.”

I leaned forward. “Tell me what to do, Katy. What you need me to say.”

“I have no idea, Richard. I’ve never experienced this before.”

“Neither have I.”

“You have another daughter,” she stated softly.

“Allegedly.” I took a sip of my brandy. “I don’t remember her mother.”

She sighed, pushing the hair away from her face that had escaped her ponytail. “It took me a few moments to remember for certain. You dated her for a brief period. A few weeks, maybe a month. She was a model.” She barked a dry laugh. “So many of them were.”

I heard the derision in her voice.

“All of them were beautiful,” she added.

“And most of them vapid. All I looked for was the physical aspect. I wasn’t a nice man back then, Katy.”

“I’m aware.”

“I hadn’t fallen in love with you yet,” I said softly. “You taught me what real beauty was.”

She ignored my words. “You broke it off with her just before you went away to a conference.”

“Do you remember every woman I dated before you?”

“Only the ones I had to deal with.”

I winced. I’d often let her deal with the aftermath. Send flowers, turn them away if they came to see me. Have them escorted from the building. I had been an uncaring, cold bastard.

“I’m sorry,” I repeated.

“It was part of my job.”

“No, it wasn’t. It was because I was a coward. I let you handle it.”

She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“It does,” I said, suddenly angry. “My past is coming back to bite me in the ass.” I stood, pacing. “And now it will affect everyone I love.” Suddenly, I was yelling. “Because I was a fucking selfish asshole, my family is going to be hurt. You already are! Jesus, you can barely look at me.”

She remained silent.

“I don’t understand,” I growled, pulling my hands through my hair. “I don’t remember how many women I dated, but I always wore condoms. I was fanatical about it. I didn’t want kids. I never wanted to be responsible for anyone. The women I dated knew that. Most of the time, they were covered as well. Fucking hell. None of this makes sense.”

“Birth control can fail.”

I sat down, feeling exhausted, looking at her. “Tell me what to do, Katy. Jesus, don’t hate me. Don’t let this be the thing that breaks us. I couldn’t bear it.”