Page 10 of Mutiny

The way he smelled, mint and sweet pea flowers, the way my cunt clenched when he got too close and I bumped into him, the way his ears moved when I made a loud noise or spoke too softly, and worst of all, the way he swallowed.

I'd begun testing it to be certain, at first because that irritation in me made me want to do things to punish him, to irritate him back… but after a few test runs I was sure of the cause now.

He made that noise whenever I did anything that could even remotely be considered provocative.

I had started doing more and more things of that nature.

When I leaned over at the perfect moment, stepping back so my ass bumped right up into him, that would trigger it. When I leaned over him to reach for something, pressing my chest against his arm, that also did it. But there were other instances: when I became excited after learning how to use the machine that was able to make detailed circuitry woven into fabric and did a little dance of joy, or when I realized that the oxygen production in the suits was built out of biological tissue that provided almost infinite breathable air, as long as it wasn't damaged. It was just so damn cool I did a little victory dance of joy, and then he looked at me, and he swallowed, a thick sound that made me wonder what was going on with his salivary glands.

He was similar-looking to the guy Andrea was hooking up with, and I had overheard her bragging about how he liked to lick her all over. She said he was claiming her by coating her in saliva that hardened into a flexible material.

It was a weird thought.

It also raised some hygiene questions about where that saliva hardened. The woman had a problem with giving out too much information on her intimate relationship, but at the same time, I was grateful for it.

The fact was that even though he had a reaction to my small, seductive tests, he hadn't done or said anything that anyone could consider inappropriate. He wasn't grabbing me or telling me he wanted to go muff diving or any of the other things I had been imagining he could do in those moments where I lay in bed and thought about what we could do.

It had been a long time since I got laid, and it was no secret that the guys the other women had hooked up with had been phenomenal in bed. From what I heard, they were fully present in the moment, dedicating themselves to the experience and the interaction with their partners, rather than just satiating their own needs. I hadn't declared my work sessions with Bulwark off-limits for no reason. I could see how some of the other women looked at him, and occasionally someone wandered in to see how we were doing, then spent a little too much time lingering near him. Wren had stuck her head in a few times, but she was a quiet type, and when I didn’t acknowledge her, she just left.

What I did notice was that Bulwark never made the swallowing sound at any of them.

The other aliens who had shacked up with women had shown absolutely no interest in straying, at least that was what Saoirse had said, though I didn't stick around in that conversation to learn how she had come to that conclusion.

I didn't care so much about that, except for the fact that it meant that if Bulwark decided to hook up with someone else, that would be it for the potential of him and me.

But that was the crux of my irritation with him.

I was attracted to him, to his body, to his knowledge, to his patient way of working me, to the way he smiled when I was trying to figure out a new feature, to the way he took a deep inhale when I invaded his space, and the way that his hands flexed like he wanted to touch me but was holding himself back. I was attracted to his patience and his quiet.

But he was an alien, and even if he was mentally freed from control, he still came from the race of oppressors that had planned to carve me up for parts. His history didn't define him, but it sure made a strange backdrop for a romance.

It was a messed up situation.

But at the same time, I had caught a sight of Andrea being railed in the kitchen one morning, something that Noelle was still angry about even though Andrea had cleaned every inch of the space to Noelle's requirements as an apology.

The sight of it made me even more irritated with Bulwark.

Andrea's alien had her hair fisted in his hand, and he was taking her in the kind of way I always wanted to be taken, but never knew how to ask for it, because asking to be treated like that was dangerous with human men. I'd never found a guy I felt safe enough with to tell him I wanted to be absolutely dominated, because that one word wasn't enough. I wanted to be cherished, my every need fulfilled, my pleasure ecstatic, but at the same time I didn't want to have to perform for a man who would get disappointed if his touches didn't elicit the reaction he thought they should.

I wanted a guy to take what he needed, but I wanted what he needed to be me having a really good time. Telling someone I was dating that I needed him to worship me and enjoy doing it and be over-the-top aggressive about giving me exactly what I needed, and that was what I meant by domination, was hard to communicate, especially with men who would shut down at the slightest hint of criticism.

I bent over, put my hands on my knees, and stared through a small window in the machine that was currently sewing biologically reactive strands into the suit's fabric so it could display readings taken from my body. I arched my lower back, jutting the round curve of my ass up, and then shifted slightly, putting a little wiggle in it that I hoped came across as absent-minded.

Or not.

At this point I wanted him to know I was doing this to tease him.

Bulwark made that swallowing sound again, along with a small groan that he tried to cover up with a cough.

He was never going to make a move, was he?

Even so, if he did, would I respect a guy who made a move in an environment like this? What if he wasn't actually interested in me at all? My desires were so contradictory and convoluted; it was like I was trying to build a weapon without understanding the technology's flaws. I'd never found what I wanted because I'd never really tried to say it out loud. I just tried to find it without ever telling my partner what I needed, or asking what they needed.

I needed to change what I was doing if I was going to change the result.

I stood up and turned around, facing him squarely.

Time to go all in.