Page 80 of Power & Punishment

Keith’s eyes widen, looking over his shoulder toward our Captain, who looks way too angry this early in the morning.

My heart rate spikes as I rise from my chair and wipe my palms down the side of my jeans. My partner gives me an encouraging nod before I navigate the last few feet to my apparent death sentence.

My boss could be mad at me for a number of things, but that list feels a lot more targeted these days. I’ve broken more rules in the last forty-eight hours than I have since I joined the force in my early twenties.

I left New York because I thought I could do better. Be better. But now I’m starting to realize that maybe that’s not possible. Maybe I was always supposed to go down the wrong path—it just took me longer than expected to get there.

“Close it,” he barks as soon as I enter his office. His eyes are glued to the computer screen in front of him.

I gulp, doing as I’m told. The smell of stale coffee and male testosterone in here is usually bearable, but today it’s thick enough to choke on.

“Sit.”

I lower myself into the chair in front of his desk, sitting on the edge and keeping my spine straight. He keeps me waiting, taking his time, aggressively hitting his keyboard and keeping his eyes anywhere but me.

A rush of blood muffles my ears.

Judgment day finally approaches as he grunts and leans back in his seat. “Esposito,” he begins, rubbing a hand down the five o’clock shadow on his face. “I’m going to give you one chance to explain why you’re still digging into the Russo case and why the hell you thought it was a good idea to drag Katy into this mess? That case isn’t yours anymore, and now you’ve attracted the attention of the commissioner and some other higher-ups.”

My stomach drops.

We would’ve been fine with just the bullet analysis, but the matchbook is what sent things over the edge. It was a risk. A stupid and naïve risk.

Maybe Leo was right about me.

“I—” I sputter, but nothing comes out. Because where would I even begin? I was clearly in the wrong. I manipulated Katy into helping me, and now both of our jobs are in jeopardy.

“I shouldn’t have involved Katy,” I admit, lifting my chin. “I take full responsibility for everything.”

His eyes soften as he pulls back. “This is bad, Esposito. You threatened your career, your partner, and everything you’ve worked for over this⁠—”

I cut him off. “Keith wasn’t involved. He doesn’t know I’m still investigating this case.”

The captain hums, shaking his head. Guilt flickers on and off inside me like a busted light bulb. “You don’t seem too upset for someone that could potentially lose their job over this.”

My jaw tightens. “With all due respect, sir,” I say, inhaling and exhaling quickly, “something about it doesn’t add up.”

He dips his head, attempting to hide the fact that his hard-ass expression is waning. Like he knows something I don’t. But then he looks back up and his face hardens again. “Unfortunately, that’s not your call to make.”

I stare blankly at the wall next to him, my eyes glazing over photos of his family and others of him in his uniform, slowly climbing up through the ranks. I wanted to be in his chair someday. I thought I could make a difference. But if it means ignoring justice because it isn’t convenient for the people that sign our paychecks, then maybe I am in the wrong line of work.

“I spoke with the commissioner this morning. He wanted me to fire you, but I talked him into a suspension,” he says, his words lingering with regret. “I need your badge and gun.”

I squeeze my eyes shut and nod, rising from my seat. “Yes, sir.”

My badge comes off first. It makes a satisfying clinking sound when I set it on his desk. Next is my gun. The same piece I’ve threatened Leo with multiple times since I met him. That feels harder to give up, but I do it.

The captain doesn’t say anything. His eyes just linger on the two discarded objects as I turn and head toward the door. Before I can make a graceful exit, he calls out.

“I’m sorry about this, Esposito. I know you thought you were doing the right thing, but you’ll understand someday. Just do me a favor and stay away from the Russo case.”

I nod my head again, too mentally exhausted for actual words. We both know I won’t.

When I step back into the bullpen, Keith is waiting.

“What happened?” he asks, rising from his chair.

I don’t stop walking until I get to my desk. I can feel the lingering stares and watchful eyes of other police officers as I shove all my things in my bag.