Page 28 of Guarding Colton’s Witness

He supposed Matti saw a lot of children in heartbreaking circumstances, and it gave him a new respect for her. He didn’t know how she did it and still stayed positive. Ryan wasn’t sure he could.

“You look deep in thought there,” she said.

“I was just thinking about the children you work with. How do you do it? How do you not go home at night and cry?”

“Sometimes, I do,” she softly said.

Without thinking what he was doing, he reached over and took her hand. She flipped her palm up and linked their fingers. Something he didn’t understand settled inside him. He wasn’t sure what, but it felt profound…life-changing even.

Chapter 13

Matti groaned when the alarm clock woke her. She wanted to hit snooze, or even better, turn the thing off and go back to sleep. But there was a little boy who’d probably be up and about soon, and she didn’t want him feeling like he had to fend for himself. He’d done that enough in his short six years.

After a shower, she dressed, then went to Sam’s room to check on him. He was sitting up in his bed with one of his new books open. “Good morning. I see you’re awake already.”

“I’m practicing my words,” Sam said without taking his eyes off the page.

“That’s great, Sam.” How long had he been up?

She and Ryan had taught him five words last night; cat, dog, bug, fox, and car. She’d never met a child who was as eager to learn as Sam. And he was wicked smart. They had been impressed with how fast he learned. If he’d had his way, they’d have spent the night teaching him all the words in the book.

The books they were starting him on were more for three-to-five-year-olds, but Sam had zero reading skills, so picture books with simple words were where they were beginning his lessons.

“I’m ready to learn more words, Matti. I can find the ones I know, but I want to read all the story by myself.”

One thing he did know was the alphabet, which gave him a bit of a head start. He’d told them his mommy had taught him the letters. He even knew how to write them and had been proud of himself as he’d shown them he could.

“We’ll learn some more later. Right now, how about you get dressed while I make us some breakfast?”

“Okay.”

“You need help?”

“No, I can do it. Is Doc coming to see us today?”

“He has to work, but maybe when he gets off tonight. Depends on how tired he is.”

“I like him, Matti. Do you?”

“Sure do.”

“You could marry him, and you and Doc could be my new mommy and daddy.”

Oh, Lord. That wasn’t going to happen. “How about you get dressed, kiddo.” She left before he could continue his matchmaking efforts. It was going to be hard to turn him over to someone else. What if they didn’t understand him like she did?

She had no choice, though. She couldn’t keep him. Why not? That voice in her head needed to go back to wherever it came from. Keeping Sam was impossible. Her hours were unpredictable. She could be called out at any hour of the night to go pick up a child. She couldn’t take Sam with her on those calls, and he couldn’t stay home by himself.

Even though it really was impossible to consider keeping Sam, as she scrambled eggs, a solution to the problem popped into her head. Her mother. Emily didn’t live too far from her, and she could always drop him off at Emily’s house if she did get a middle-of-the-night call. Those didn’t actually happen all that often, so it wouldn’t be like she’d be dumping Sam on her mother all that much.

“No,” she muttered. It was out of the question for her to keep him. As soon as she was sure Sam or the foster family he went to wasn’t in danger, she’d find him a wonderful family.

Sam came into the kitchen carrying his book. “Matti?”

“What, hon?” He was looking up at her with worry in his eyes. She moved the pan from the burner so she could give him her full attention.

“I love my new clothes, but I know they cost a lot of money. I don’t want to be a burden.”

Burden? How did he even know that word and what it meant? “Why would you think that?”