Page 8 of No Merciful Corruption

More noise. Lyss spins in a full circle in search of her coat. “Shit, that’s my phone.”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

All the sounds mix together in my head.

Drip. Tick. Beep.

Drip. Tick. Beep.

Drip. Tick. Beep.

And I’m right there in that hospital room after the fire all over again.

“Hey,” Damiano touches my shoulder. “Are you all right?”

I clench and unclench my fists. The insides of my palms burn. “I’m fine. I have a call to make.”

“Don’t bother.” Lyss extends her phone. “Karina got your message. They’re on their way.”

I nod. “Good. Fine. Let me know when they get here.”

“Alex—”

“I’m going to take a walk.”

I leave before anyone can stop me but I don’t think they care enough to try. I’m glad they don’t.

There are no private corners in hospitals. Maybe the chapel but what if someone is praying? Or an empty room but I run the risk of a staff member walking in on me. Finding no more suitable alternative, I settle on an abandoned staircase in a deserted area of the floor near two storage rooms and a bathroom.

I sink to the floor and pull out my phone from my back pocket. My hands are trembling so it takes several attempts to dial Diego’s number. He answers on the second ring.

“You’re up late,” my brother says. “Another wild night at the⁠—”

Drip. Tick. Beep.

Drip. Tick. Beep.

“What did you call it?” I ask, raking my fingers through my hair. “What happens to me?”

“What are you talking about?”

“When I get overwhelmed and my heart starts beating out of my chest? And everything just starts shutting down.”

“Alex—”

“I keep focusing on these sounds. Drip, tick, beep, drip, tick, beep, drip tick, beep. Over and over and over again. Like when Dahlia was in the hospital after the fire. Her room had a leaky sink and a messed-up clock and the defibrillator kept making a strange sound. They all started mixing together in my head and I couldn’t focus on anything else.”

The other end remains silent.

“I’m in a hospital again. The water fountain was leaking, their clock was an hour ahead because no one changed it for daylight savings, and Lyss’s phone kept beeping. And I heard those sounds again. Drip, tick, beep, drip, tick, beep.” I say. “I feel so dizzy. And numb. I’m aching all over, my chest hurts, and I can’t breathe.”

My brother says nothing.

“Maldita sea, Diego. What the fuck is it called!”

“A panic attack, Alex,” he replies softly. “It’s called a panic attack.”

“Yes. Well…that.”