Page 56 of Avenging Azalea

“I’m not a child. I’m a grown woman and can make my own choices,” Fawn argued.

She was right. But what I couldn’t tell her was that I loved her. That was dangerous, far more dangerous than it seemed on the surface.

My heart longed for her, but I was bound to a different life. A life that I never wanted her to experience. I stood, stepping back from the couch and the temptation at my fingertips.

“Fawn, you’re right. You’re a beautiful, intelligent, amazing woman, but I can’t in good conscience have sex with you while I’m promised to another. If I sleep with you, then I fear it will open a door that I’ll never be able to close. Like trying to put the world’s evil back in Pandora’s box.” She pulled her feet up, wrapping her arms around her knees. “That may not make sense to you, but you know me. I’m loyal and honest. I stand by my morals regardless of what I want. I don’t love Vera, but if I’m spending the rest of my life with her, then I can’t start our marriage with betrayal. It’s not fair to anyone.”

She nodded even as her eyes filled with tears. Fawn looked away and swiped at her face as if her pain was no big deal, and I hated myself for letting things get this far. I’d hurt her without it ever being my intention.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I never should’ve put you in this position.”

“It’s okay. It’s just been a really long day for everyone. Sleep well, Fawn,” I said, walking out of the den, into my bedroom, and straight into the shower without removing my clothes.

Fuck, if this was a test, then I’d failed because no matter what words came out of my mouth…I wanted her.

Chapter

Seventeen

FAWN

Sleep had eluded me, and I’d been guilt-cooking for the last three hours. Every time my eyes closed, all I saw was the horrific moment when I decided to seduce an engaged man. Who the hell was I?

Loving Titus didn’t give me the right to blow up his world and put him in danger. I’d never be okay with being the other woman, no matter how much I wanted him. All that I could come up with to explain it was that I just kept thinking about Savannah and how she almost died and how life was short. Steph was always saying that we only lived once.

God…talk about mortifying.

“Wow, what’s happening in here?”

I jumped at Titus’s voice and glanced over my shoulder while he stared at the island filled with baked goods. He looked as incredible as always, wearing his black suit and my favorite cream-colored coat, which hung over his arm. There was no stopping the flipping of my stomach or the instant fresh wave of humiliation that was determined to convince me to jump out the window and hide.

“I was up early and decided to be useful. I’ll freeze most of it, so we have quick heat-up breakfasts, and I’ll bring some out to the guards. I made treats for the girls too.”

Pulling the last batch of fruit burst muffins from the tin, I set them on the cooling rack. These were Titus’s favorites, filled with a mix of raspberries, strawberries, and blueberries. It was not lost on me that I’d made all of his favorites. I clearly had issues.

Titus walked over to the coffee pot and poured himself a cup. I could picture his every move even though he was behind me and out of sight. He placed his coat down and added a splash of honey and cream to his coffee, then he stirred it and smirked after taking the first sip.

Finished with the baking, I washed my hands and grabbed the dish towel to dry them as I turned around to face Titus. He stood quietly staring out the window, his steaming coffee in hand and hip propped against the counter. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I raised the camera as slyly as I could and snapped a photo.

Laying the phone down before he caught me, I drummed my fingers along the top of the case.

“I wanted to apologize again for last night,” I said, and his gaze moved from outside to me. My heart was in my throat, the lump impossible to swallow down under his stare. He looked like a carved statue with the sun beating in on him. “I um…I don’t have an excuse, at least not a good one, and….”

“It’s okay, Fawn.”

Titus took a step in my direction, and I moved to keep the island between us without it looking obvious. The truth was, I no longer trusted myself around him. What I wanted overrode all logical thought, including my self-worth. Last night had been proof positive of that, and if I was honest with myself, I’d do it all over again.

“No, it’s really not,” I said, packing the scones that had already cooled into a container. “I just want you to know it won’t happen again. You’ve been unbelievably kind to me, and I was blatantly disrespectful to you and your new relationship. That’s not like me.”

“Like I said, it’s okay. I’m not blameless.”

“Maybe, maybe not, but I wanted to clear the air.”

“Consider it cleared.”

After the scones were closed up, I tested the Danishes. They were cool as well, and I set two aside to take with me before putting the rest away. Titus walked over, and I tensed. My reaction was completely ridiculous. He didn’t touch me. Instead grabbed one of the blueberry Danishes. He groaned when he took a bite, and I bit the inside of my cheek as my hands started to shake.

“Can I take Sheba to the clinic with me today?”