Page 76 of Humility

“You’ll be stuck with me forever.” She looked at me, and I could see the doubt in her eyes. I hated that she looked at me like that. I hated that she didn’t trust me, even though she had every reason not to. “I’ll explain what happened. Just know I never wanted to leave or stay away.” Those beautiful eyes of hers searched my face.

I couldn’t take the chance that she might say no and dropped my lips to hers. It was unfair, but I would do anything necessary to keep Jasmine. If that meant I needed to play dirty, I would do it without feeling an ounce of regret.

She tasted like I remembered, and as hard as I tried to keep the kiss sweet, it didn’t last. I groaned when her arms wrapped around my neck and held me tighter. Sheer desperation had me ripping my T-shirt off. Next was her bra and the tattered shirt. The kiss was feverish, our hands roaming each other’s bodies as I undid my jeans.

“Fuck,” I growled, pulling away to get rid of the rest of our clothing.

I remembered the first time she was laid out before me like this. I never forgot the moment when I realized my feelings ran far deeper than lust alone. Stroking my cock I loved that she watched my hand and blushed as I groaned.

She was so beautiful, squirming on the bed, covering herself with her arms. How she could still be shy was a mystery to me, but I loved this softer side as much as I loved the strong woman who would punch me in the face. Her eyes remained on mine as I crawled between her legs. I kept expecting her to tell me to leave, or I would wake up like I was the one drugged all this time, and she was once more a a fantasy that my desperation had created. A memory that tortured me the moment my eyes closed.

I sucked her lush bottom lip into my mouth, and she kissed me as I pressed into her. It felt like the first time all over again…no this was better. Being forced apart made me miss her on a level I couldn’t explain with common words. Only ballads of love and sonnets of longing could come close, and even then, it paled in comparison to being held and loved by her.

With her arms wrapped around me and her soft moans filling my ears, my control was ready to snap. Thrusting into her, she clung tighter, and my sanity sailed out the window like an arrow.

I had to be gentle and hold back when we snuck into her room, but not anymore. Capturing her lips, I pounded into her the way I’d dreamed of and swallowed every one of her screams down.

“Come on, Tiger, be a good girl and come all over my cock.” She moaned and nipped my lip as her nails dug into my shoulders.

Sliding my hands under her ass, I pulled her tighter into my body as I pressed into her. I couldn’t get deep enough even when there was no more cock to push into her. It would never be enough. She made me crazy. Her whimpers grew louder, and nothing else existed other than her. Breaking the kiss, I sucked her earlobe into my mouth, and she shuddered, wrapping her legs around my waist.

“Fuck me, Tiger. You make me feel alive,” I softly growled in her ear. “Let go, come for me. Scream my name.” I nipped at the soft skin on her neck and groaned as she clawed at my back, my name echoing around the room as she came. “Fuck, yes.”

My fingers dug into her ass as I let go and didn’t hold anything back. Fucking her as hard as I could, I growled like the beast she made me.

“Oh fuck!” I gritted my teeth as I came so hard I thought I would black out. Panting into the side of her neck, I felt her heart pounding as fast as my own. “I missed you so much,” I said, kissing her neck. “I hate that we were separated.”

I looked up as she turned away and realized she was crying. Even as she covered her eyes, I could see the tears traveling down her cheeks to her trembling lip.

“Don’t cry, I’ve got you.” I pulled her in tight as I rolled to my side, and she buried her head and let it all out. “I’ve got you.” I rubbed her back, hating that this was what we’d become. “Shh, it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay. You ripped my heart out and left me when I needed you the most, so no, it’s not okay.” Jasmine pulled away and gripped the blanket to her chest as she cried.

“I know I have so much to make up for, but I never wanted to leave you.”

“But you did, and you cut off all contact with me. Why? Why did you do that? I tried to reach you so many times. You wouldn’t respond, and then you blocked me. Do you have any idea how much that hurt?”

I couldn’t stand the look in her eyes. The guilt already eating at me swirled to the surface and grabbed me by the throat. Looking down at the bed, I remembered all too well how hard it was to block her number and delete her from my phone. It felt soul-shattering to cut her off, but it needed to be done.

“I tried to broker a deal with your father to marry you, but he wouldn’t listen to reason. When I realized we could be years, I couldn’t stand talking to you, knowing that we might never come home. It wasn’t fair to anyone.” As hard as it was, I met her eyes, and she was shaking her head. “Please, Jasmine, try to understand. I asked him so many times. He wouldn’t take my calls anymore. I had no leverage, and I couldn’t string you along.”

“You don’t understand.” She stood from the bed, and I got up to follow her, but she pushed my hands away as I touched her shoulders. “Don’t, I can’t. I’ll fall apart all over again if you touch me.”

I grabbed a large hoodie from my dresser and handed it over. Jasmine looked so damn small in it as she pulled it on. I loved this look. I loved her in all my clothes, but my dress shirts with ties had me on my knees.

“What don’t I understand?” She hugged herself and squeezed her eyes tight. “Please tell me. I want us, and I want to fix this.”

“You can’t fix what happened,” she said, her golden eyes shimmering with more unshed tears. “You had your leverage, Angelo. At least you had it for a time.” I stared at her, not understanding what she was talking about. Jasmine sighed and sucked in a deep breath like she was collecting herself for a blow. “I was pregnant,” she said, and my heart thumped harder. Her eyes roamed over my face. “And then I miscarried and…I had no one I could trust other than Ciro, but I was too embarssed to call him and ask for help. I was in so much pain, and there was way too much blood.” She covered her mouth as a sob wracked her body.

I sat there, not moving, just staring at her. I couldn’t have heard her right.

“The bleeding wouldn’t stop and I knew something was wrong. I was growing weaker by the day, and I finally had to unlock my door and find my papa. A guard had to help me to his room, I was…so scared. I found out I was pregnant, and you cut me off. I was going to keep our baby….” She stopped and choked back a sob. “I was going to keep our baby. I wanted our baby, but fate had other ideas, and everything was ripped away from me.”

The guilt and sadness twisted in my heart like a knife. Standing, I wrapped Jasmine up in my arms.

“I’m so sorry,” I said, my throat closing. Not only for what we lost, for what I caused, but for what she went through alone. “I’m so, so sorry.” I could only imagine what her father thought of me. The anger and disgust I saw in his eyes all made sense now. I’d felt so many horrible things about him, contemplated killing him, and then he caught me stealing a family heirloom. I closed my eyes, all my mistakes and wrong turns biting my conscience and infecting it with a venom I knew I would never be free of.

“I never meant to hurt you. I love you, Jasmine. I swear to you if I’d known….” I couldn’t get the rest out. My heart felt like it was in a vise. Of all the anger she could and should hurl at me, this blow took me to my knees. But, as she sobbed and held me, I knew this was what she needed, what she needed when I hadn’t been there to help her through. Forcing my emotions down, I picked Jasmine up and walked back to the bed.