Page 46 of Tanner (Dirty Misfits MC 5)
He sighed, looking more defeated than ever before. “Everything.”
As Tanner spoke, I settled in for the story. And what started out as him holding me quickly became a “me holding him” sort of scenario. I stroked my fingers through his wet hair as hot water slid along our grooves and crevices. Tanner get choked up with tears when he talked about Gage, and how he had been killed.
Hyde, and how he had been killed.
Chops, and how he had taken over the crew only to screw them over in the end with some absolute and utter bullshit.
And when he was done, he looked up into my face. “See why we’re gunning for him now? He took family from us, Summer. He killed our brothers, and he has no remorse for it.”
I tried to think of some way to get them out of this responsibility. “Could you turn over all the evidence you have to the police? Don’t they work with you or something?”
He closed his eyes. “All we have is circumstantial. Chops knows how to cover his tracks.”
“Well, fuck.”
“Exactly.”
I chewed on the inside of my cheek. “I guess you don’t really have a choice, then.”
He got up from his laid-back position and pulled me back into his lap. And I went effortlessly, relishing his strength as he wrapped his arms all around me and blanketed me away from the rest of the world.
“No, we don’t. We’ve exhausted every other choice we’ve got. And if we all want to get out of this alive—if I have any chance of creating a future with you and Chey—then this is our only option. This is what keeps you guys safe. This is what gives us our life back. This is what gives us a second chance, Summer. Can’t you see that?”
I looked up at him. “Yeah, I can see where you’re coming from.”
He kissed the tip of my nose. “Good, because there’s something I want to ask you.”
My heart stopped in my chest. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
He grinned. “Nothing’s wrong. I just—”
Worry filled my gut. “You can ask me anything. Just spit it out.”
He sighed. “Okay. Here it goes: I never stopped loving you. I know you know that. But I don’t know if you know how much. I never stopped loving you, fully and completely. I never stopped hoping for a future for us. I never stopped dreaming of the day we’d find each other again and get a second chance at riding off into the sunset with one another. One day, I want to be your husband. I want to be Chey’s father. And I hope you feel the same way.”
I turned his words over in my head for a while before I spoke. “Can I ask you a question before I respond?”
He nodded. “Of course.”
I swallowed hard. “Do you at least understand why I didn’t try to track you down and tell you about Cheyenne?”
His eyes searched mine. “What?”
I pulled away from him and sat on the shower floor, cross-legged. “I need to know that you understand. I need to know that you get it. You might not agree with it and thinking about it still might piss you off. But I need to know that you get it. That you understand.”
He stared at me for a while before reaching out and taking my hands within him. “It does still anger me to think about. When I found out that I had a daughter, I was upset. And shocked. I wondered how in the hell you could keep her from me after all we had been through as teenagers.”
“But…?”
He scooted a bit closer to me. “But I get it. I understand the obstacles you faced and that you were just trying to look out for the last shred of family you had instead of hoping some idiot boy like me would come check on you to make sure you were all right.”
I swallowed hard. “Why didn’t you come to check on me, Tanner? I always wondered.”
He sighed so hard that his shoulders slumped. “I was a stupid, angry teenager, and I figured if you had stood me up then you didn’t deserve me coming around to check in on you.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
I released his hand before reaching up and cupping his cheek. “It’s okay, you know.”
His red eyes found mine. “No, it’s not. I should have come by to see you. I should have fought.”
“You were eighteen.”
“And you were my girl, Summer. That trumps everything.”
I giggled. “As a man now, sure. But not as an eighteen-year-old trying to figure out his pathway in life. No one expects an eighteen-year-old to make the wise decisions of a—”
“Hey now,” he said as he scolded me, “no use in bringing up our ages. I know I’m old.”
I barked with laughter. “We’re not old. We’re just not teenagers any longer.”
