Page 21 of Tanner (Dirty Misfits MC 5)
And all the while, I watched Tanner set himself up in an oversized chair in the corner.
Far away from me.
Every time I was reminded of my predicament, the guilt ate me alive. I should have told Tanner, even if my parents made it impossible. Even if my parents locked me in my room and refused to let me leave. I should have climbed out the window or memorized his number so I could have called him from our landline.
I should’ve done more.
As I stared at Tanner, watching him eat was unarguably my favorite meal growing up, I wondered if there were any leftovers. And I wondered if I had a right to ask him. I wasn’t sure where I stood with anyone anymore, much less him.
He deserved so much better than what went down between the two of us.
“What happened, Summer?”
His voice caressed my ears, but I knew he was overdue for some answers.
“Summer.”
I swallowed hard. “I heard you.”
He snickered. “Do you mind answering my question, then? Because for the life of me, I just can’t figure it out.”
I closed my eyes before I started crying. “It’s so much, and none of it even seems excusable at this point.”
“I don’t care about excuses. I care about answers.”
So, I leaned my head back against the couch and opened my eyes. “I did know about the pregnancy before your graduation. I had actually just found out about a week before that.”
“Well, that answers one massive question I’ve had. But it leads to a lot of others.”
I drew in a deep breath through my nose. “I know it does, and I don’t really have an excuse other than fear. I mean, I thought I might have been with how sick I’d been feeling lately, so I slipped some money out of Mom’s wallet one morning and skipped first period so I could run up to the drug store and get a test. I took it right there at school, too.”
“Why the hell didn’t you tell me any of this? I was right there. I could have helped.”
“I was just… scared. Scared of my parents and what they’d think. Scared of you and what you’d think. I know you remember all of the good times we had, but there were some not-so-good times, too. And if you really remember back, we were in a not-so-good time approaching your graduation.”
I watched him carefully before it clicked over. “The fight we had.”
I nodded. “The fight we had.”
He put his food down and leaned forward a bit. “So, you didn’t tell me you were taking a pregnancy test because I got upset with you over a tutoring session?”
My face fell flat. “No, Tanner. I didn’t tell you I was taking a pregnancy test because the night before you told me you weren’t sure whether or not our plan to continue after graduation was smart. Or do you not remember that because you were too drunk after some party you went to?”
Guilt washed over his features. “Fucking hell, I’d completely forgotten about that fight.”
I scooped up my apple and crossed my arms over my chest. “Yeah.”
It took him a while to respond. But when he did, he pressed onward. “Is that why you never showed up after my graduation ceremony?”
I swallowed hard, hoping and praying I could get through this without crying. “Actually, no. The reason I didn’t show up was because Mom and Dad went through my laptop and found our deleted emails. I don’t even know how the hell they recovered them, but they did. And when Dad figured out what we were planning, I woke up the morning of your graduation with no phone, no laptop, and no car privileges.”
“Why didn’t you tell me when we saw each other at the ceremony, then?”
I lifted my head up and gazed into his eyes from across the room. “Because after they dug through my laptop, they dug through my phone as well as my backpack. And even though I’d kept the pregnancy test in my locker, I guess I must’ve crumpled up the receipt and put it in my backpack.”
His eyes widened. “Oh, Jesus.”
I scoffed. “Yeah, Jesus wasn’t there that day, as much as my parents would have liked to hope. That’s why I didn’t approach you at your graduation. Dad said he’d take me so I could ‘get some closure’ to us, but he told me that if I talked to you at all, he’d make me give our child up for adoption.”
His jaw hit the floor. “He fucking did not.”
I wiped at my tears. “Yeah, he did. He even told me he’d make sure it was a closed adoption so that I’d never know what happened to our little one. And I was so scared, Tanner. You have to believe me. I was so damn scared, and they essentially made me choose, and I couldn’t not choose our child. I just couldn’t.”
