Page 60 of Hidden With You

“Get away from me,” I say. My voice is mine again, but it’s hard and cold, and I don’t recognize it. I’m broken. This man has broken me.

I hear the scrape of the chair as Ryan pushes back from the table. He stands and walks over to me. He kneels beside me, and his voice is calm when he says, “Zelda, I’m so very sorry. You probably hate me now, but you had to know.”

“You son of a bitch,” Jasper says.

Ryan and I both ignore him. I look at Ryan and nod. “Thank you,” I say, my voice tremulous. “Please go.”

“Leah is going to stay here with you.” I shake my head. I want to be alone.

“I’m not taking no for an answer,” he says. “And Leah and I are both stronger than you. She’s staying.”

“Fine. Whatever.” I’m going to go close my eyes and go to sleep for a year, so what does it matter anyway?

With a sigh, I stand up. I draw a breath. Then I flinch when Jasper reaches for me, his eyes filled with horror and remorse. I turn away, afraid I’ll throw up again if I look at him.

I glance at Leah, who holds out her hand, offering me comfort. I turn away and stalk to my bedroom. I consider climbing out the window just to get away, but I don’t have the energy.

I feel dead inside. Lost. I love him, and he did this to me. And I still love him, and it hurts. Now all I want to do is hate him, and I can’t help but wonder how long it’s going to take for that to happen.

I curl up on top of the covers and roll the comforter over on top of me. My knees are at my chest, and I’m in a little cocoon, crying into my pillow.

I felt like a new person when Jasper had come into my life. I felt like the me I had pretended to be out in the world, bubbly and alive, not dark and twisty. Now I’m dark again, and I’m twisted up inside.

Mostly, I’m gone, shattered into a million pieces.

But maybe that’s better. I’d been living in the real world before. My time with Jasper was a fantasy. I know that now. I know the truth. Everybody leaves. Everybody disappoints. And I’m better off just staying alone.