Page 27 of Sinner’s Game

As the light changes and we start moving again, I remind myself that my silence is a good thing. I don’t do casual sex, and Ronan doesn’t do relationships. The reason nothing happened after that kiss in the alcove at the wedding was because nothing could. Anything more, and it would have screwed up our friendship, and that would be a tragedy.

I look out the window to get my bearings, then realize he’s heading for Sunset Canyon, the winding road that runs above the town and connects Interstate 5 to the beach.

“You live in the canyons?” For the first time, I realize that although he’s been to my place dozens of times, I have no idea where he lives.

He shakes his head. “Near the beach. Just north of Devlin and Ellie’s house, actually. But I wanted to show you something.”

“Oh. What?”

He laughs. “Impatient much?”

I scowl, but it morphs into a smile. I sit back, my arms crossed over my chest. “Fine,” I say, a tease in my voice. “Be all secretive. Fine by me.”

“Good.”

We glance at each other, both of us stoic until I break and grin. “Jerk.”

“Ah, but you love me anyway.”

I force a laugh but turn away. I know he’s teasing and only means it as friends, but the casual words have hit something deep inside of me. And since it’s not something I want to examine too closely, I’m relieved when he pulls off the road into a turnaround.

“What’s here?” I ask.

He kills the engine and opens his door, the interior light illuminating his face enough that I can see the anticipation in his eyes. “Just come on.”

I get out, then join him at the railing. We’re well above the town now. A few lights from windows, streetlights, and headlights dot the twisty roads that lead down through the hills to the grid that forms downtown. Beyond the grid is a white-ish strip bordered by frothing silver—the beach and the surf slamming against it.

Past that, all I can see is the silvery ripple of the moon reflected on the black infinity of the ocean.

It looks perfect and fragile. Almost like a model. Something a city planner might make and keep as a trophy on a pedestal in their office. But I have no idea why he’s brought me here.

“I wanted to give you something beautiful,” he says when I ask that question. “Something to contrast what you see when you close your eyes.”

Tears sting my eyes, borne of the unexpected surprise that he realizes that. He’s correct that Mr. Big has filled my thoughts since we found the body, but surely Ronan is used to that kind of thing by now. “Thank you,” I whisper. “This … this helps.”

For a moment, silence lingers. “I’m sorry.”

I shake my head. “None of this is your fault.”

“You don’t deserve this.”

“Does anybody?”

“No.” His eyes are hard on mine, and he gently puts his hand over mine. “But … never mind.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

I wait, not turning away.

After a moment, he sighs.

“I was just going to say that I don’t like to see you hurting.”

My smile feels fragile on my lips, and I can’t quite meet his eyes. “I’m okay with you saying that.”

He chuckles. “Good. Because it’s true.” He opens his mouth, and I think he’s going to say something else. But then he turns his attention back to the view.