Page 24 of Sinner’s Game

“I know. Thanks.” I force myself to stand straighter. “I should be able to deal with this. But …” I trail off, not wanting to talk about how the sight of the body had me thinking about the time I was taken. Or the way the blood under his head made me remember the steady drip, drip of—

“Brandy?”

His hands are on my shoulders, and I want desperately for him to pull me into his arms. Because my deep, dark secret is that the only time I truly feel safe now is in my dreams, when he’s holding me close and telling me that everything will be okay.

“Hey, angel, talk to me.”

I look up at him. “Sorry, I—”

“Don’t be sorry. Are you okay?”

“I’m—yes. Yes, I’m fine. The blood. It’s stupid, but even though it’s out of sight now, I can’t stop seeing it—”

“Oh, hell,” he says, and for a moment I think I’ve annoyed him. “I wasn’t thinking. I should have gotten you away from the scene the moment we saw it.”

“I—no. That’s not on you. It’s just—”

“Of course it’s on me. Do you think I want to see you hurting? Reliving that day?” He takes me by the elbow and leads me into the guest bedroom that opens off the hall. Ellie’s old room. “Sit here,” he says, nodding to the bed.

“Shouldn’t we be outside?”

“They can kick us out if they want to. Sit.”

I do as he says and climb on, my back to the headboard and my knees pulled up. “It’s okay, really. I’m fine. It was just a moment, and...” I trail off. We both know I’m not fine. Functional, maybe, but not fine.

“Here,” he says, draping the throw from the foot of the bed over my legs. I pull it up to my shoulders, relishing the comfort as he sits on the edge of the bed beside me, so close I feel his muscular thigh brushing my hip. I want to slide down and curl up against him, but I don’t. I just clutch the blanket tighter.

His hand rests lightly on my knee. “I’ll go get the others. Let them know we’re in here.”

I treasure the we, happy to know he’s planning to stay with me. “Okay.” Then, as he’s starting to rise, I add, “Ronan?”

He pauses, waiting for me to continue. “Yeah?”

“I—thanks for taking care of me. I’m sorry I lost it a little back there.”

There’s an edge to his voice when he says, “You have about a million reasons to be upset. All things considered, I think you’re doing just fine.”

Clearly, I’m not, but I have no intention of melting down in this man’s arms, no matter how much I might want to. “It’s just—I think about the blood, and…”

“Hey, it’s going to be fine.” He sits again, then takes my hand, and I cherish the contact.

“Promise?”

“One hundred percent.” His gaze is steady, unblinking, and even though I know that’s not really a promise he can make, I believe him.

“Thanks,” I say. “I feel ridiculous. I should be handling this better.”

“You’re doing great. Really,” he says, this time rising off the bed. “I’m going to go tell the others where we are.”

I nod, watching as he walks away, this man with his broad shoulders so willing to carry my burden.

He pauses at the door and looks back. “And, Brandy, just so you know, I never break a promise.”

He turns back before I can answer, but I feel my smile all the way down to my toes. The circumstances may be crappy, but I have to admit, I like this part of the mess. The Ronan part.

I hug my knees tighter as I wait for him to return. The house is well-made, but I can hear the whine of police sirens in the distance. Soon, there are footsteps in the hall and muffled voices. A moment later, Ellie comes in, Devlin behind her. I glance over his shoulder but don’t see Ronan, and his absence feels like a scar on my soul.

“You doing okay?” Ellie asks.