Page 25 of Risking it All

“I didn’t kill anyone. I went through a bad breakup and isolated my family and friends in the process. I left my job and the only place I could call home. Sadly, I have no desire to go back, even if I could.”

“You don’t have to go back. I’m not going to ask you to live at my place, but you could definitely stay at Cashville as long as you need to.”

“I can’t expect that from you.”

“It doesn’t matter what you expect. I’m telling you what I’m offering.”

“I don’t want to live for free. I need to earn my keep. Are you guys hiring?”

“The restaurants are always hiring. If not, I could get you a spot in housekeeping. Whatever it takes to make sure you know you have a reason to live.”

“What do you want in return?”

“What do you mean?”

“My father says anyone giving you something expects something in return. I’ve already had sex with you. I don’t have any money or anything else really. What else could I possibly give you?”

“I’m sorry that that has been your experience, mama, but I’m not asking you for anything. I’m doing the offering.”

“But why?”

“Because I want to help you. Why do I need to want something in return?” He shrugged.

I didn’t understand why I started crying. It was a simple question. I asked plenty of questions, but Sawyer asking why he needed to want something in return seemed to flip some kind of switch in my head. My whole life, I had been used as leverage in a business deal. Now this man, who I couldn’t give anything that I hadn’t already offered him, freely wanted to help me just because. I was taught not to trust people or believe their words at face value, but I trusted Sawyer.

He had shown me genuine concern and wasn’t asking for anything other than for me to allow him to be there for me. It was a strange dynamic, but I was willing to try it out. Sawyer stood and walked over to me, taking my hands in his and kissing them without saying a word. He just gave me time to get it all out. I appreciated his patience more than I could explain.

“Can we still be friends if I work for you? I don’t know anyone else around here.”

“You mentioned that you used to know Reed, right?”

Oh shit. I had forgotten all about him. Since he would be gone for a while, I would figure out what to do about him when the time came. For now, I just wanted to exist.

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t consider him a friend. Besides, he’s not here right now.”

“Yes, I think we can be friends. When you’re up to it, I would like to pursue the idea of being more.”

“You don’t have to say that because you took my virginity. We both knew it was a one-night stand.”

“And now it’s more.”

I simply shrugged. “I guess it is.”

8

Sawyer

By the time we pulled up to Cashville, the evening rush was in full effect. There were valets and a line of cars out front, moving and unloading as efficiently as they could, from what I could tell. I loved to see it.

The rapper Supreme was starting his residency where he would do two shows a week for two months. There seemed to be a lot of buzz around it, and room blocks were booked up for weeks. More business was a good thing, but more people moving around the casino meant that I had to be more alert than ever.

I needed to bring on a few new people, but I wasn’t in the mood to interview anyone. In this business, you could never be too careful about who you let in behind the scenes. I almost laughed out loud as I passed the front entrance and drove to my reserved parking spot under the hotel side. Here I was with a woman whose real name that I didn’t know, and I was thinking about security. I had pretty good instincts. Nothing about Z told me that I couldn’t trust her. She was scared, not dangerous. If I didn’t think that was true, it was even more apparent as she stared straight ahead with her hands in her lap like she was waiting for something to pop out and get her.

“You don’t have to be afraid, mama. I got you.”

“That’s easy for you to say. I’m terrified.”

“Of me? Look, I really didn’t know that you had never had sex before. I would have never pushed like that if I had known. I’m not going to do anything to you. I have a private room set up for you. I’m not trying to push you into anything you aren’t comfortable with, but you’ll be safe here. I won’t even come to your room.”