Page 73 of Healed

My brain didn’t know the difference. I tried to fight. I lashed out, slapping at the shoulders of the person holding me.

“Shh! It’s okay. You’re okay. Breathe, Gabby. Breathe,” a soft voice murmured.

“Please don’t hurt me,” I whispered, feeling utterly pathetic.

The woman stroked my hair, murmuring nonsense words of comfort. I opened my eyes and saw a flash of purple, of a child crawling along the kitchen floor.

“You’re okay, Gabriella. Take a deep breath. You’re safe,” Jenna whispered.

“I’m so sorry,” I sobbed, all the tension leaving my body. I was vaguely aware that I was clutching at her, crushing her body to mine.

“Is everything okay—” Rachel began, but Jenna simply held me tighter.

I didn’t hear Jenna’s response. I saw Rachel moving, heard her speak softly to someone called Trex, and saw a flash as she carried a child out of the room, but I wasn’t coherent enough to put the pieces together.

Instead, I simply stayed glued to Jenna, sobbing until it felt like my throat was raw.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jenna asked a few minutes later, still stroking my hair. I pulled back, and she gently led me back over to the table, pulling out a chair for me and then picking up the one I had tipped over for herself.

“I’m sorry,” I said, wiping my face with the back of my hand.

“You’ve nothing to say sorry for,” Jenna said kindly.

“I just… I kind of got stuck in a memory for a moment, you know?”

“I know,” she nodded. “I’ve got my own nightmares, so I get it.”

I flinched, remembering that Jenna had lost her husband, Shark.

“Do you ever…”

“Do I what?” she asked.

“Do you ever have memories that aren’t even memories?” I said quietly. “I don’t even know what I’m trying to describe. But, like, your brain trying to fill in the gaps and recreating something you couldn’t know?”

Vienna hitting my mother flashed in my mind again, and a shiver rolled down my spine.

“I know exactly what you mean,” Jenna said, offering me a sad smile. “I wasn’t there when Shark died. I wasn’t even there when he was attacked but…” she sighed heavily. “It doesn’t stop my mind from recreating the entire scene, though.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’ve nothing to be sorry for,” she said, her eyes brimming with tears.

“But it was my club that—”

“And it was my club that…” she interrupted. “You can fill in the blanks. We’ve all wronged each other. I know this situation is out of hand. I don’t blame anyone other than the men who were there. They were the ones who took Shark from me. You had nothing to do with it.”

If only things were that simple.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.

“Not really.”

“That’s fine. But it helps to talk. Trust me. If you don’t want to talk to me, ask Rachel to see if Doctor Ashleigh has any openings. She’s been a godsend.”

“Doctor Ashleigh?”

Jenna chuckled. “She’s sort of become the club’s therapist. It started as something Rachel suggested to manipulate Dante during their whole six-month-contract fandango.”