Page 50 of Get A Fix

That seemed to calm everyone, and then, of course, there was the usual high-pitched squeal from the sound system that made everyone gasp before Orson—I assumed it was Orson—said, “Testing, testing,” and asked if everyone could hear him. Lots of yelling back that he was too loud, and then there was the requisite up and down with the volume. I always wondered why that part wasn’t done beforehand. One of life’s great mysteries.

“Hello, everyone,” he started again. “Welcome to the Phillips/Walder wedding. I’m Orson Phillips, the groom, and my lovely bride is…” He made a show of shielding his brow as if looking out across a vast terrain. “Where are you, Bits?”

Bits was even worse than Bitsy. Amazing.

She stood up, waving, thanked Ash again, and then began making her way to the front, passing Ainsley on the way, stopping her aunt to hug her. When Ainsley reached the table, she took a seat beside me.

“I should take the kids upstairs after these announcements.”

I saw that Timothy was passed out on his father’s shoulder. It worked like that with kids. When they crashed, they crashed hard.

“I can come with you and drop Gemma off.”

“Are you sure?”

“He’s sure,” Ash answered for me, pushing my hair out of my eyes. “I have to make some phone calls anyway. I’ll meet you in the room.”

“In the room? No late-night carousing in town?” Ainsley teased him.

“I can’t go out to a club or a bar that doesn’t have procedures in place, like the ones in LA do, without a whole entourage of people.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “If it’s a place I’ve been that caters to celebrities, it’s fine. But I can’t just walk into any bar at night unless I’m in disguise. During the day it’s all right, but never at night. That’s just asking for trouble.”

“You go out in disguise?”

He grimaced. “I used to. I’m not really into that anymore. I’m not the club kid I was at twenty-two.”

“Everything seems so loud,” she told him. “I’d rather stay home and watch TV.”

“Or read,” he added.

“Yes. Reading is the best, with snacks and a blanket.”

“I’m not normally cold enough to need a blanket, but that does sound good.”

I scoffed, and they both turned to look at me. “You two are so old.”

She crossed her arms and glared at me.

“Really? Old?” Ash repeated, drawing my attention.

“I mean, where’s the sex, drugs, and a rock-and-roll man?”

“I’m an actor,” he said, hand on his chest. “Not a rock star.”

“You’re tellin’ me.”

Now it was his turn to cross his arms.

“That’s impressive,” Jeff commented. “You pissed them both off.”

I rolled my eyes. “I thought we were gonna go score some blow, trash some bars, and eat cold nachos in a bowling alley. Paint the town red.”

“It’s after nine,” Jeff mock-gasped. “Are you insane?”

We were all laughing, not one of us listening to the announcements. I did hear that tomorrow there would be shuttles to museums in the morning and for shopping in the afternoon. Tomorrow night would be the bachelor and bachelorette parties.