Page 39 of Trick Of Light

I had no words to give him.

“I saw both sides, but in the end, we had to be loyal, to listen and have faith.”

Grabbing hold of his hand, I held on tight.

“It was so hard on that day…on the day they fell…” Tears welled in his eyes. “So many were calling, and they were sorry, and I thought…where is the forgiveness, the grace?”

“But it was too great a sin to forgive?”

“Yes. And Lucifer was so hurt and so defiant, and if you knew him… I was certain he’d rally them eventually, and he did. But so many are lost and sad. That’s what they don’t tell you about true hell. It’s really just being full of regret and remorse for eternity.”

“You wanted to give Mammon a hug today, didn’t you?”

“I did.”

“But you didn’t.”

He shook his head. “He’d never allow that, and really, it would hurt him, his pride and whatever peace he’s forged for himself, to have that moment of vulnerability.”

“Have you ever seen Lucifer again? After the fall?”

“Only once in…ages. He was as brilliant and beautiful as ever, but his eyes blazed with hatred.”

“What did you do?”

“Oh, I waved,” he said, chuckling. “And of course he scowled like only he can.”

“Maybe someday all will be made whole again.”

“Perhaps,” was all he said.

Michael—whom I never saw, but Raphael told me all about—was trying to figure out what to do about love. It was not something he’d ever factored into his black-and-white view of creation as a whole. He had no idea that love was fluid and changing. But Raphael loved a human and Remiel a demon, and since neither of those things was supposed to be possible, Michael needed time and silent communion with the universe to figure out what to do.

“It could take a while,” Raphael said with a grimace.

“What does that mean?”

“You know how Leith never just buys something, like a TV or an alarm system?”

“Oh God, yes,” I groaned. Just thinking about Leith’s “research” made me nuts. Three years to decide on the exact right car would have made me crazy. Simon’s patience was infinite.

“Michael’s like that. He needs to do research for possibly a thousand years, and then perhaps he’ll come to a decision.”

I couldn’t even comprehend that amount of time. But in the meantime, Raphael was marked by his black wings that also, in the right light, at certain angles, could be mistaken for gold. It was a trick of light. “His punishment,” I said, smiling at him, “seems to be fluid as well.”

“He’s hard to pin down—his thinking.”

“He gave you his sword,” I pointed out. “His flaming sword. How angry at you could he actually be?”

“He’s not anymore. I’m forgiven, but I knew I would be.”

“You knew?”

“I’m his favorite. I get how his mind works—well, most of the time.”

“I bet he wants you to stay.”

He shook his head. “Now that he knows where I am, it doesn’t matter. All he has to do is keep an eye on you.”