Page 95 of Fearlessly Us

Drew

You’ve spent a lot of your life doing this by yourself, but you don’t have to. Not when you have so many people who want to help.

Me

Including you?

Drew

Especially me. But I’m glad Maya is there. I think maybe today is for sisters.

But tonight? Tonight is for us. And Catie, whatever happens today, it’s going to be okay. We’ll figure it all out.

Me

Together?

Drew

Always.

“Oh my god, you’re blushing and smiling and I’m pretty sure you have literal stars in your eyes. What did he say?”

I whip my head up at Maya’s voice and see her perched on the doctor’s stool, grinning at me. Wearing tight black leggings and a black leather jacket with Doc Martin combat boots on her feet, she spins back and forth on the stool, looking like she just escaped her motorcycle club for the afternoon. “It’s nothing. Since we’re just sitting here, tell me what’s going on with you. Been on any awful dates lately?”

Maya rolls her eyes at me. “They’re all awful but we’re not talking about that. Changing the subject may have worked a few months ago, but it won’t work anymore. Not when you’re in your sharing era.”

I huff out a laugh. “What’s my sharing era?”

She shrugs. “The era where you tell us shit about yourself instead of always defaulting to solving our problems. The era where we now know you’ve spent fourteen years of your life in excruciating pain you didn’t tell us about. Now we know, so we have a lot of time to make up for. That’s why I’m here, Cait. None of us would let you do this alone. Not this time or ever again.”

Maya’s words have an unexpected well of emotion tugging at my chest. Last week I mentioned to my friends that my post-surgery follow-up would be today, and I would be getting more details about what they found and where I go from here. I said it in passing and didn’t even think it registered, but it must have because Maya strolled into my house at eight thirty this morning and told me she had the day off and was coming with me to my appointment.

Unused to being offered help, I told her at least six times I was fine, but she just poured herself a cup of coffee and ordered me to go upstairs to get dressed, and when it was time to leave, she insisted on driving me here. The whole thing threw me, but like I said to Drew, I don’t hate it. I’ve spent so many years sitting in sterile exam rooms alone with only my own thoughts for company, and I can’t deny it feels good to have her here with me.

I adjust the crinkly paper sheet draped awkwardly over my legs. “Drew said whatever happened today we would figure it out together. That’s what I was smiling at. It just…I don’t know. I’ve never felt this way before.”

Maya’s smile turns soft. “In love, you mean?”

I shrug, even as warmth gushes through me at the word love. “I mean, that, but also having someone like him know me. See me, I guess. I didn’t know I needed that. I know you guys do too,” I say quickly. “But…”

“But it’s different,” Maya says with a smile, standing from the stool and coming to sit next to me on the exam table, legs dangling next to mine. “It’s supposed to be different. We’re your sisters, but he’s your person.”

My person. I roll the phrase around in my head and decide it sounds right.

“I didn’t know I could feel this way,” I admit, and it feels good to share with my best friend. And if I have a twinge of regret that I’ve waited so long, I shove it aside because I’m saying it now. “That I could have this much in me for another person. But I think maybe I didn’t know because he’s the one I’m supposed to feel it for. Because I’ve been waiting for him.”

Maya squeals. Literally squeals, and I worry briefly for the health of my eardrums. “Shit, Cait, that is seriously the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard in my life. It makes me want to delete every single dating app because nothing I find on any of them will compare to the level of swoon that just came out of your mouth.”

I snort, bumping my shoulder with hers because Maya talks about deleting the dating apps at least once a week, but she never does. Despite the fact that for the last couple months she’s been dressing like an extra from The Craft, Maya has a massive romantic streak and is determined to find the person of her dreams. “Maybe it’s the law of large numbers. Like, that thing where you have to kiss a lot of frogs or whatever.”

“They’re all frogs,” she mutters. “And none of them know how to kiss for shit. Except…” She trails off, slamming her mouth shut.

“Except what?” I ask, immediately curious because Maya never sensors herself. Ever.

“It’s nothing,” she says, shaking her head. “Really. It was just one good kiss, a hundred years ago, never to be repeated because the kiss giver was absolutely not for me.”

“I don’t know,” I muse. “I think maybe you shouldn’t underestimate the importance of a really good kiss.”