Page 48 of Fearlessly Us

“Oh my god, you’re smiling,” Emmy says, grabbing my arm. “What is happening?”

Reaching down, I grab a loaded nacho to give myself a beat, surveying my friends as I eat it and, despite myself, relishing this moment a little bit. Because Drew winked at me from the field and my world tilted just a little on its foundation and I don’t have my period and nothing hurts and for the first time in a long time, I think I really like this day. I give myself another second, forever unused to being the one to share, but when the words come, they’re easy. “I kissed Drew.”

Silence.

Complete and utter silence.

Five faces stare at me with expressions ranging from glee to disbelief, and I wish idly that my phone wasn’t in my bag under the seat because I really want a picture.

“Drew,” Maya says slowly, as if trying the name on for size.

I nod.

“Drew Ellicott.” Sophie’s voice is a little stunned, and she glances down at the field and back to me.

“The one and only.”

“Oh my god,” Sarah squeals, quite literally jumping up and down. “Tell us everything. Where did it happen? When did it happen? Was it good? Do you like him? Are you, like, dating or something? Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

I laugh at my over-enthusiastic cousin and feel a rush of love for all five of them. Somehow, I got lucky enough to have friends and cousins who are sisters, who love me more than I love myself most of the time, and everything about that feels like wild luck. I may not know quite how to tell them all the things, but I can tell them this. Despite it all, I want to tell them this.

“In my office during a meeting. A couple of weeks ago. It was the best kiss I’ve ever had. I’m not sure if I like him, but I think I kind of might. We’re not dating. And…” I pause before I say the next thing, wondering if I should.

Brave, I think again.

“I didn’t say anything because it’s…complicated for me. I don’t always know how.”

I hold my breath, waiting for the questions that never come. Instead, Maddy reaches over and takes my hand, squeezing tight. “Proud of you,” she says quietly. “I know that wasn’t easy.”

I turn to Maddy, my throat tightening at the softness in her face. The love and understanding in her words. The acknowledgement that even though it’s not all, some is more than none, and they’ll be there when I’m ready for the all. I squeeze her hand back because it might not be everything, but for now, it feels like enough.

“He’s looking at you,” Emmy says, wonder in her voice. “Like, literally he’s staring at you right now.”

My head snaps around, and despite the fact that I’m four rows up and Drew must be at least fifty feet away, I feel his gaze like a caress, his smirk sexy as fuck. And when his eyes lock on mine and then drop deliberately to my chest before coming back to me, I hear the words in his head as if he spoke them right out loud.

That’s not my jersey.

I stare moodily back at him. When I said no men’s names, I wasn’t fucking around.

He crosses his arms over his chest. One day, Princess. You’ll be begging me for my name on your back.

I put my hands on my hips. Don’t hold your breath.

“Well holy shit.” Sophie’s voice is a mix of amusement and glee. “It took Tyler and me years to figure out sideline communication. One kiss and you and Drew are having a whole damn conversation. Are you sure you guys aren’t soulmates? That’s impressive work, Cait.”

One kiss, one rescue mission in a hospital bathroom, the best omelet ever and all the ice cream, a night spent on my couch, and days and days of text messages actually. But that’s a story for another time.

I tear my gaze away from the hot-as-sin wide receiver and turn my attention to Sophie, feeling myself smile. “It was a really good kiss. Like, maybe the best kiss ever.”

“Fuck yeah!” Maya says. “This is queen behavior, Cait. Absolute main character energy. Can I be you when I grow up?”

I roll my eyes because I couldn’t be less of a main character. I’m more of the useful sidekick. “You’re literally four years older than I am. I’m pretty sure you are grown up.”

Maya scoffs. “I don’t think you can call me grown up when I’m still going on dates where I see him texting another girl while he’s sitting across the table from me.”

I shake my head. “You deserve better, Maya,” I say, for what feels like the millionth time. And she does. Maya is one of the very best people I know, and she deserves someone to sweep her off her feet. To turn her life upside down and give her all the love and romance she’s been waiting for. It’s one of the more frustrating parts of my life that I can’t fix this for her. Save her from this never-ending parade of dating horrors.

“There is no better,” she says darkly. “It’s bleak out there.”