Page 23 of Fearlessly Us

Chuckling, I pick up my root beer and take a sip. “You don’t want to wait for Caitlin to tell you?”

Maddy shrugs. “I would, if I thought she would tell me. Cait is one of my oldest and best friends and I love her with my whole heart, but there’s a part of her that’s unknowable, even to me. That makes it hard to be there for her sometimes, because I can’t always tell what she needs.” Maddy frowns, like not being able to give Caitlin what she needs hurts her, and it makes me happy Caitlin has a friend like her. “You don’t have to tell me anything you’re not comfortable with, but if you do want to share, I’m happy to listen.” She reaches out and lays a hand over mine. “Then I can be here for you both.”

It feels wrong to tell her everything because some things are for Caitlin to share if she wants to, but the thought of what I can tell her makes me smile. “I think I like her.” It’s my most basic truth. “She’s helping me out with some estate planning stuff, and I was in her office the other day.” I shrug, like the best kiss of my entire life is no big deal. “It just sort of happened.”

Maddy squeals. Quite literally squeals and presses her hands to her chest. “I love this so much you have no idea.” Then her expression turns serious, her eyes on me. “This is new for you.”

I give her a lazy grin. “I mean, I’ve never kissed Caitlin Parker before, if that’s what you mean.”

Maddy rolls her eyes. “Cut the shit. You know that’s not what I mean. What I mean is, it’s new for you to like someone. Like, in the feelings way.”

I hesitate and then nod slowly because it feels good to tell Maddy this truth too. “I never have,” I admit. “I’ve never had any kind of relationship before. I don’t even know if I’d be any good at one.”

“But you think you’re ready to try?”

“I honestly don’t know. I don’t even know Caitlin all that well, but it feels like I do, and that has to mean something. Right?”

Maddy smiles like a proud parent. “I think it means a lot. Listen, I was totally obsessed with Cam after one night and I didn’t even know his name.” She shrugs. “I can’t even explain it now, but sometimes the heart just knows.” She looks down at the ring on her finger, and her smile turns to a grin. “Don’t let what you’ve never tried to have before keep you from trying for something now. I think you’re totally a relationship guy, it’s just that you’ve never met someone before who made you want to break your rules.”

My mind flashes back to seeing Caitlin in New Orleans—the way I was drawn to her. The way I told her I thought I would like to get to know her and it was the truest thing in the world. How I’ve tried to get in her way for months, even when she did her best to pretend I didn’t exist. Early morning in the kitchen at the lake and the way it felt like we both let our walls down just a little. Yesterday at her office. Telling her about Avery, giving her pieces of me I’ve never given anyone before. Watching her fear from whatever happened on that call and wishing I could do something to help. The kiss. God, the kiss. The feel of her in my arms, her body pressed to mine. The way she tasted and the noises she made and how it felt when she melted into me. Surrendered. Like I could be someone she could let go with even though she’s a woman not used to letting go.

Nothing about who I am—where I come from—makes a relationship a good idea.And yet.

“I think if I could break my rules for anyone, I would break them for her.” I hesitate then figure I’ve gone this far. Might as well finish it. “I don’t know if that’s enough.”

If I’m enough.

The smile on Maddy’s face is soft, and her hand squeezes mine. “That’s more than enough, Drew. That’s everything.”

Sitting here with her, in my best friend’s house with the pictures of me and his family hanging on the wall, I can almost believe it’s true.

CHAPTER EIGHT

CAITLIN

“Hang the fuck on. Is that Caitlin Parker? On my hospital floor?”

Grinning at the voice, I spin around and look straight into the smiling face of Sarah’s dad, my uncle, Jordan Wyles. “Your hospital floor? I’m pretty sure your hospital floor is about six hundred miles away. What the hell are you doing here?” I ask as he wraps me in a hug. “You guys aren’t supposed to be in Pittsburgh until tomorrow.”

Jordan is one of my dad’s best friends. He’s married to my mom’s youngest sister, Jo, and his brother Noah married my mom’s middle sister, Hannah. They all live in Boston, along with their other two brothers—Emmy’s dad Cooper and Sophie’s uncle Elliot and their families. I knew they were planning a Pittsburgh trip to hang with my parents for the weekend and to see Sarah, but the last place I expected him to be was the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center Children’s Hospital.

He presses a kiss to the top of my head and steps back. “I could ask you the same thing. The hospital isn’t exactly your usual lawyer stomping grounds.”

I hold up the briefcase in my hand. “Favor for a client. They were supposed to come in for a meeting today to sign some documents, but their son broke his leg pretty badly and is here for surgery. I needed a change of scenery, so I said I would come to them.”

A change of scenery because my office is now known as the scene of The Kiss, and I can’t be in there now without replaying that little interlude over and over in my head. Even a full forty-eight hours later, I still can’t believe I kissed Drew. And not in the we kissed way. In the I grabbed him and pulled him in and kissed him like the world was ending kind of way. I have no idea how it happened or why, but I blame it on Drew being far too intuitive for his own good. Because if I blame him, I don’t have to think about how good it felt that he was there, exactly when I needed someone to be. His quiet understanding and the hand on my back and the steady support I didn’t need to ask for because somehow he knew to give it.

That knowing felt better than I’m willing to admit, and I’ve thought about that moment in my office approximately four million times since it happened. It turns out you’re dead to me works a whole lot better when I can actually bury the person in my brain, but Drew is some sort of zombie who keeps resurrecting himself and it’s fucking annoying. It also probably would have helped if I hadn’t grabbed him and kissed him like a woman possessed.

So yeah.

“Lawyer house calls. I dig it,” Jordan says with a grin, breaking me out of my existential crisis. “You look great, Cait. Hardcore lawyer professional.”

I shrug, taking a sip of the iced latte in my free hand and trying not to wince a little when I get a wave of nausea the second it hits my taste buds. The third latte and my attempt to hydrate with caffeine was definitely a bad idea. “It comes with the territory. So what are you doing here early? Are Jo and Hannah already here too? And Noah?”

Jordan nods. “Yep. They’re meeting Sarah for lunch in between her classes. I mentioned to a colleague here that I was going to be in Pittsburgh for the weekend and he asked me to come early to consult on a case, so we flew in last night. It’s a complex neonatal surgery, so they needed to call in the big guns.”

He grins, still a cocky shit-stirrer even in his fifties, but as one of the most sought-after pediatric surgeons in the country, he has the bona fides to back it up. He’s also deeply devoted to his family, loves my Aunt Jo in a way that is actually unbelievable until you see it up close, and is one of the best people I know. “It’s really good to see you, Cait,” he says, smile turning soft. “You’ll be at dinner tomorrow night, right? I know Jo and Hannah are dying to see you, and Jo brought presents.”