Page 71 of For I Have Sinned

“Why not? From what you just told me, it sounds like you grew up in a loving home.”

“There is a difference between a loving home and the things I mentioned. Sure, I had all the necessities one needs to live, but the one thing that was missing was love.”

I close my eyes, fighting the tears, but when I feel Alex place his hand on my shoulder for comfort, I let the first one drop.

“My father always found work more important, except for the weekends, because of church. My mother was a tyrant. It always felt like I was a project to them. Throughout my entire life, they had been trying to mold me into a perfect, Godly daughter. I’ve never felt one ounce of love from them.”

“I’m so sorry, Celine.” Alex’s voice is low and full of pity.

“It’s nothing for you to apologize for.” I turn to face him, unable to stare at the happy family on the shelf anymore. I look up at him, my eyes watery, and give him a sad smile. “It’s not your fault my parents didn’t love me.”

“I think they may love you in their own way.” His hand leaves my shoulder, and his thumb wipes away a tear.

“They loved the daughter they were trying to make me. When she never broke out of the mold they placed her in, it was obvious.” I lean into his touch, soaking up the warmth. “I don’t want to talk about my broken family anymore. It was bad enough I had to see them today.”

“Okay.” He nods in understanding.

“Can we talk about what happened on Sunday?”

The motion of his thumb brushing against my skin stops, and he drops his hand before taking a step back. “If you want to.”

“Do you regret it?”

He inhales and exhales deeply before answering. “No. I don’t regret it.”

“Are you mad that you broke your vow?”

With a shake of his head, he says, “No.”

That response takes me by surprise. “Really? Why?”

“Because it was you who made me break that vow.” He takes a step towards me, closing the distance again. “What I am is angry at myself for wanting it to happen again.”

“You do?” I ask breathlessly.

“Yes.” His hand meets the side of my neck, his thumb slowly trailing a heated line over my throat until it stops on the other side. His fingers dig gently into my skin. “You are a sin that I want to keep committing.”

“Little sin,” I whisper to myself, recalling the nickname he used on Sunday. When my gaze drops to his mouth, he is grinning. “But I thought it was only a one-time thing. Giving in to that temptation once.”

“Do you want it to be a one-time thing?” He increases the pressure of his fingers, causing my lips to part. “Because now that I’ve had a taste of you, I won’t be able to stay away.”

My knees almost buckle from his words. It shouldn’t happen again, but the risk we’d be taking is making my adrenaline spike. “I want it to happen again.”

“Yeah?” He leans forward, and the tip of his nose brushes mine. “Would you be able to keep this a secret?”

“I’ve already told you, your secrets are safe with me.” I remind him as his eyes dance between mine and then fall to my lips.

“Good.” With one tug, our lips are connected.

At the sensation of his warm mouth against mine, this time, my knees do buckle. Alex wraps his arm around my waist, keeping me standing. He deepens the kiss, causing the world to spin faster as each second passes. I feel lightheaded, but in a good way, if that is even possible.

Yanking me away from the bookshelf, he walks us to his desk, still devouring me. With his free arm, he lifts me onto the wooden structure and begs for entrance into my mouth with his tongue. I allow it to happen, his tongue creating a dance with mine, one that both of us know all too well.

“Fuck,” He pulls away, hand still wrapped around my neck.

“It’s weird hearing you curse.”

“Seriously? I made you come all over my fingers, and you think it’s weird to hear me curse?”