Page 1 of For I Have Sinned

Father Alexander

PROLOGUE

I believe in a higher power—a God that we serve and pray to, a God we live our lives to please. That was until she walked into the convent, appearing as an angel delivered from Heaven to ruin my life.

When I saw her for the first time, I wondered whether I had been praying to the right higher power. Maybe it wasn’t God I should serve and pray to on my knees. Maybe this woman was the one I should be worshiping.

It’s wrong in all senses. I shouldn’t be feeling this way, but I can’t help it. She is a divine distraction, pulling me away from my faith piece by piece. And as long as she is here, I worry there would be nothing left of that faith.

She doesn’t believe in the same things as me. Her view of our world is entirely different from those who work and live in the convent. But she is here against her will, and her presence was a recipe for disaster—not only for the convent but also for me.

Chapter 1

Celine

I don’t remember anything from last night.

The only thing I could remember was walking into the restaurant and sitting down at the table. There were small recollections of me ordering food, but once the bottle of wine was presented to us, I was done for. It was Amelia’s birthday, which meant the night was a blur.

But I guess that’s what happens when you go out to celebrate your best friend.

She was turning twenty-nine, a year away from thirty, and as happy as I was celebrating her, knowing that in October I would be celebrating turning thirty had driven me into a psychosis. I swear, just yesterday I was entering my twenties, going to all the clubs, and partying it up. Next month, I’ll be trading the alcohol and partying for herbal tea and early bedtimes.

Instead of hitting up a club like we used to, Amelia opted for a nice dinner. It seems that our partying days would end sooner than I’d thought. I didn’t mind a quiet night at a restaurant, though, especially since Vince, the friend who makes us a trio, offered to pay for all the wine we planned to consume.

I didn’t think I would regret drinking in that moment, but as I lie in bed with a pounding headache and an upset stomach, I realize that it was probably the biggest regret of my life.

I’m lying on my side, the blankets curled up underneath my chin, and as the sun begins to shine its unbearably bright rays through my window, it all becomes too much.

I bury myself under the covers to escape the blinding light in hopes of saving my headache from growing, but it doesn’t seem to help. I don’t even remember coming home after dinner. Vince was the designated driver, so he brought the three of us back to my apartment.

When I was old enough to move out of my parents’ house, I found a place of my own, but shortly after, the rent was raised to a ridiculous price, and I couldn’t afford to stay there.

At the time, I didn’t have a great-paying job, and spending that much money on an apartment by myself was outrageous. I was in college and barely making any money at the bar where I worked. With Amelia being in the same boat, we decided to become roommates.

It was the best decision for us, and we loved living together for those five years. However, as we grew older and had better paying jobs, we each wanted a place to call our own. She didn’t kick me out, but she loved that apartment so much, and I was okay with finding a place that felt more like me.

I ended up finding an apartment near her and Vince, but it was farther from my parents than the first apartment, which was a major reason I had gotten that place. The space from them was much needed because I couldn’t handle how they hovered over me like I was still a child.

Watching my every move and criticizing the choices I made. All the times they would tell me if I kept sinning the way I was, I would end up in Hell, and there was no way their daughter would behave this way.

Not only was the thought of me being sent to Hell an embarrassment for them while still living, but they were also afraid of the judgment they would receive from their friends and God when they got to Heaven themselves.

They have been trying to force me to find peace with God and to devote my life to serving Him as they do. First off, I’m not going to dedicate my life to any fucking man. And second, I don’t believe in God, which was another reason for the embarrassment they felt towards me. They always said, ‘I don’t know where we went wrong with you. You used to love going to church when you were a kid.’

I did not, in fact, love going to church when I was little. If I ever looked happy while there, it was because I snuck a cookie off the refreshment table before we were allowed to, or whenever Johnathan, the kid who used to tease me, would get scolded by his mother. His getting in trouble always made me giggle.

I’ve tried telling them multiple times that attending church wasn’t for me, but they still pressured me into going, hoping that one day, I’d change my mind.

After all these years, I still had the same mindset.

Speaking of my lovely parents, I have plans to meet with them this morning. At first, I thought I was going to their house for breakfast and a chat, but the joke was on me. Given that it was Sunday, I should have known better.

As I roll onto my back, the covers slip off me, and the warmth disappears from my body. I groan and grab my phone to check the time.

Shit. I’m supposed to meet them at twelve-thirty, and it’s already noon.

Jumping out of bed, I rush into my closet to find my best Sunday dress. Yes, I have one still to try to appease my parents.