Page 95 of Contested

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Marcos questioned, shaking his head, fingers finding the stitching of his pants to pick at.

Sebastian pinched the bridge of his nose before flattening his palm over his eyes. He took a deep breath. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I…”

Sebastian stayed frozen in the position, sentence half finished, and Marcos took a step forward, hand outstretched to rest on his shoulder.

“Is this about what Parker said the other week?” Marcos asked, his voice lowering.

The comment had been stupid. It hadn’t meant anything, though. That was the thing Marcos kept coming back to.

“No. No. I’m just…angry.” Sebastian dropped his hand to his side, and his gaze met Marcos’. “Just life stuff.”

Marcos nodded slowly, his hand gripping Sebastian tighter. “What kind of stuff?”

“We aren’t really…that.”

Marcos dropped his arm. “Aren’t what?”

“I don’t know. Close.”

Marcos’ heart weighed down in his chest, dragging his shoulders with it. “Yeah, I…guess. Isn’t that why I’m here, though?”

“I don’t know.”

“Alright, I’m fucking confused.”

“Maybe you should leave then.” Sebastian’s hand curled into a fist at his side, and Marcos eyed it.

“What? You’re going to hit me again?” Marcos pressed, taking another step forward.

“No, I’m not going to…” Sebastian took another deep breath, his fist relaxing. “Look, I like you.”

The words sat between them.

Marcos adjusted himself. “Okay.”

“You don’t understand how complicated that is for me.”

“And it isn’t complicated for me?”

“I’ve liked you since I was fourteen.”

That hit Marcos differently. “You hated me.”

“Well, that was easier than admitting I was gay.”

For a second, Marcos only watched him.

It didn’t fit at first. Marcos tried to put the number over the Sebastian in his head and came up with the wrong version. Not this Sebastian in his apartment, body held too tightly, face sharp with anger he was trying to swallow. A smaller one. Junior grounds. Cold mornings. Sebastian with too much confidence and shoulders he hadn’t grown into yet. Sebastian shoving him at centre bounces, glaring when Marcos won a tap, snapping insults at Marcos.

Marcos had thought they were only fighting.

Apparently, Sebastian had been surviving something else at the same time.

“Alright, well, I get that. I mean, you saw how I was when—”

“I’ve been struggling with this for years.” Sebastian shook his head, stepping past Marcos and into the living room. “I’ve kept that part of me away from the AFL. From everything. And now it—it’s…not.”

“So, this is about what Parker said.” Marcos moved beside Sebastian, though he still kept space between them.