Page 66 of Burning Obsession

“I wish I had a better answer for you, Jake. One that would help make this all not seem so creepy. But I didn’t know what to say. Initially, it was just going to be a gift, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I did follow you. Never to your house. I’d waited for you to get off work and followed you to Fifi’s one day. I befriended her and told her my story of how you saved me. She gave me some of your favorite things and kind of became my wingwoman.”

He sits there for a minute. Not speaking, just looking down at his hands as his knee bounces up and down. I don’t know what to do. Should I continue?

“Jake, I swear I didn’t know it was bothering you. It didn’t occur to me that it was unwanted until the day you told me. I never sent anything after that. There was a delivery that was already scheduled and paid for, but I never sent anything else.”

“Why not tell me then that it was you?”

“Because you were interested in me the same as I was with you. This was my chance to be with the man who held so much of my heart. But you were so angry, I thought if I told you that you’d never want to see me again. I guess I was right, because look what happened when you found out.”

“I felt betrayed. You knew how I felt about the person sending those gifts. About getting gifts in general, and you said nothing. You kept this huge secret from me. I was ready to tell you I love you.”

I gulp. Love. He loves me.

“I love you too, Jake. I truly didn't mean any harm. It was a silly obsession at first, then I met you and got to know the real you. I honestly didn’t know how much my gifts bothered you. Fifi never mentioned you not wanting them, or refusing to accept. I thought you appreciated them.” I pause and take a breath. “Then when we talked and you told me they bothered you.”

‘You what? Decided to keep it a secret from me”

“Yes and no.”

“It can’t be both,” he bites back.

“When you flirted back with me that day I thought it was meant to be. That fire happened for me to meet you. I stopped because I knew you didn’t want them and I didn’t tell you because I knew your reaction to the news would cause pain. I love you Jake and when I think about my future I see you there with me.”

I scoot closer to him, our knees brushing against each other. Reaching out I take his hand in mine, rubbing the pad of my thumb over the top of it. He doesn’t pull away, and a sliver of hope etches its way in.

“Can you forgive me? Can we go back to what we were and move forward?”

He doesn’t say anything, his head lifting slowly until his eyes are locked on mine. He doesn’t speak, his face expressionless. His eyes shift around the room, never lingering anywhere long before they fall back on me.

“You broke my trust in a huge way. I’m not sure if I can move past it. Today I needed some type of closure. I need time to think about what you said.”

He needs time to think. That tells me all I need to know. My actions, though not intended to be hurtful, were. I let go of his hand and stand.

“Thank you for listening to me. For hearing what I had to say. I love you, Jake, but losing you was hard. I can’t go through this void of not knowing again. If it’s not there for you to move forward with me, I understand.”

And then I walk away, my feet heading right to the door. Away from the man I love and whose heart I broke.

Chapter 22

Jake

Iwatch him walk toward the door and it feels like my heart is being ripped from my chest.

He told me everything, and listening to him, I think he is truly sorry for how his gifts affected me. That he realizes while he didn’t intend to hurt me by sending them, he did.

I needed to think. To decide what to do. But he left. Said goodbye.

Realization hits me like a sledgehammer.

I love Victor like I haven’t loved anyone before. In just the short time we’ve been together I’ve seen a future for us. You’re supposed to grow in a relationship, overcome obstacles and learn to communicate.

Did we just do that?

If I let him go, will I regret it forever?

There’s only one answer.

I know what to do.