Page 3 of Ruin

Tonight, he was going to die.

The thought that I might die as well streaked through my brain, leaving darkness behind, and I stopped walking. True, we were going there with one goal in mind, and that was Devil’s death. But we were also walking right into a situation where he would have men gunning for us. Strolling into enemy territory like we weren’t risking our lives to go there.

We might be trying to trap Devil out in the open so Mandy could shoot him. But he’d have men aiming for me, too, and I’d be a sitting duck in his driveway, no matter how many men I had waiting to come to rescue me. If someone had a gun on me, my men weren’t going to be able to get to me in time to stop Devil’s man from pulling the trigger.

They’d arrive just to clean up the mess.

My thoughts changed direction abruptly, and I realized that if I was going to die tonight—if there was even a slight possibility of that happening—then I needed to make sure I had all my loose ends tied up. It had never seemed to matter before, but now...

Now I had something to lose.

I needed to tell Saraya how I felt about her. It might not bring her much comfort if I died, but at least she’d know that I’d died to defend her, rather than over some old argument. I wanted her to know that this was for her. That this was about her, and nothing else.

I wanted her to know exactly how I felt, and how badly I wanted her.

She walked into the garage thirty seconds later like that thought had somehow summoned her and glanced at me with concern on her face.

“What are you doing out here by yourself?”

“Planning,” I answered shortly.

She huffed. “I thought the plan was already in place.”

“It might be. But we’d be stupid to think we were going to get there and have everything go the way we think it will. We need a Plan B, and a Plan C, and even a Plan D, in case everything goes to hell.”

She nodded thoughtfully at that but didn’t take her eyes from my face. “Why do I think that’s not actually what you were thinking about when I walked in on you?”

This girl. I’d only known her a few days, and she could already read me like she’d known me for years. I didn’t know how I felt about that, having spent much of my life working hard to keep my secrets and keep people in their boxes, where they belonged.

A girl who could look at me and immediately tell what I was thinking made me distinctly uncomfortable.

It also had heat shooting through my veins and landing deep in my belly. Because after years of keeping everyone at a distance, having her reach into my chest and pull out the emotions was...

The point of talking to her right now, I told myself. I needed to talk to her about it rather than sitting here trying to figure out how I felt about her.

I was losing it. We were on the edge of going to war with Devil, and I was losing my ever-loving mind here in my garage over a fucking girl.

“You’re right about what I was thinking,” I told her. “Please sit down.”

Another questioning look, but she threw one leg over the closest motorcycle and took a seat, her legs barely long enough to reach the ground. She leaned over on the handlebars and fixed me with her green gaze, a question on her face. “Shit. What’s wrong?”

I mirrored her pose on another motorcycle and paused, trying to figure out what I wanted to say. What I needed to say.

And then it came to me.

“I’m going into a situation that I might not come out of,” I told her bluntly. “You know it and I know it. And before I go—”

She put a tiny hand up. “Stop it right now. Just stop. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear any of it.”

I pushed her hand down. “But I need to say it, and that means you’re going to listen.”

She pressed her lips together and narrowed her eyes, and I thought she was going to argue with me, but then she just... nodded. “Go ahead, then. But don’t think that I’m going to like it. And you better realize that I’ll be arguing with everything you say in my head.”

I melted a bit at that and cracked a smile. “Considering what I’m about to tell you, I’ll hope you change your mind about that.”

She tipped forward, reaching out to take my hands and almost falling off the bike in the process. I caught her and steadied her, and she giggled nervously... but then forced herself to become serious. “Knight, I’m sure I would. But I don’t want to hear it. Not right now.”

“Saraya, I might not live through the night.”