Page 38 of Dare to Risk it All

“What do you want of me?” he asked her, figuring they’d best get to the point.

Bonnie shrugged. “Prove me right,” she said. “Jerry worries, but he’s a father. It’s in his nature, but I think you’re just the sort of son-in-law I’d like to have. You’ll fit in perfectly, but you must believe it too. I’ve seen the work you’ve achieved with Dare. You’ve done well, worked hard, and that pleases you, I think. Can you not find another similar outlet for your talents? Your own estate, perhaps? In the meantime, please look after Greer. Both her and Alana take after me, which means they’re magnets for trouble, especially when they’re unhappy. She’ll do something reckless to take her mind off it, I’m afraid. Don’t let her be unhappy, Raphe, not when it makes you so unhappy, too. We don’t care about your past, or about money. Never did, and we like you.”

She gave his hand an affectionate pat and left him alone.

Raphe stared after her, bewildered. Finding himself too mystified by her words to think straight, he made his way outside and stood in the frosty night air, hoping the chill would bring clarity. He thought about his past, about the fact that he had not a penny to his name and little chance of getting any. Bonnie hadn’t cared about that. Greer didn’t either. He did, though. The idea of marrying for money made his stomach roil. Except, if he married Greer, he wouldn’t be doing it for her money. Of course, no one else would believe that, but he’d put up with everyone believing the worst of him his entire life, so what difference would it make? His father’s suicide had tainted the family name, had coloured society’s view of him and made them think the worst. And he, fool that he was, had given them exactly what they’d expected of him.

He considered his past and what he wanted from his future. Not more of the same. Rothborn thought he could do better, and he would, damn it. Bonnie was right. He had worked hard for Dare and he’d enjoyed it. He thought then about the only times in his life when he’d been happy since his father died and who was responsible for those times. His brothers, his friends—Dare, Bainbridge, and August. Rothborn. And Greer. The brief time he’d spent with Greer shone brightest of all. He wanted more of that, he realised. He wanted to bathe in the incandescent light she seemed to cast upon him whenever she was near, drawing him in.

“You’re a blasted moth, Raphe,” he muttered to himself, shaking his head.

“It’s the first sign of madness, talking to yourself.”

“You’d know,” Raphe retorted, glancing around to discover Bainbridge at his side on the balcony.

“Damn right I would.”

They stood in companionable silence for a while, looking up at an endless sky, studded with thousands of stars.

“Makes you think, doesn’t it?” Bainbridge gestured at the heavens. “About the future, about your part in it. We’re pretty insignificant in comparison, no matter what lofty title we’ve got, or how much blunt.”

“You’ve changed,” Raphe observed, watching his friend with a smile.

“Thank you,” Bainbridge said, beaming at him. “I’ve been trying bloody hard.”

“You’re happy, I think.”

“You think right. Marrying Arabella was the only sensible thing I ever did in my life. Thank God, it was the only thing that counted.”

Raphe reflected on that, on what it might mean if he chose Greer for himself, if he took advantage of her infatuation with him. “Was it selfish?”

Bainbridge snorted. “Of course it was bloody selfish! She could have done far better than me, but I wanted her the most, and I’ll work the hardest to make her happy because I know I don’t deserve her, so it all works out in the end. She’s happy too, though, and I did that. Not because I’m good or particularly nice or clever or any of that, but because I love her, and that’s what counts, you know.”

“But you’re rich.”

His friend shrugged that off with the careless indifference of a wealthy man. “Wouldn’t have made a difference. If I’d been in your position, I’d have acted just the same. Face it, Raphe. We’re all selfish devils. You, me, and Dare too. If you get Miss Cadogan to wife, we’ll all have married far better than we deserve. So what? If we don’t get them, some other lucky blighter will and I’m just not that good-natured, and nor are you. So what if she can do better? You bloody well can’t, and that’s the point.”

Raphe’s heart gave an uneven lurch in his chest as he recognised the truth of his words.

“We hardly know each other,” he pointed out.

“So what? You’ve got years to do that.”

Raphe laughed. “Christ, it’s come to a pretty pass when I listen to your advice.”

Bainbridge grinned at him, his eyes glinting with amusement. “True, but I’m a changed man. For heaven’s sake, Raphe! Find Miss Cadogan and do some serious courting, before some other bugger steals a march on you. At least buy yourself some time to get to know each other.”

Raphe nodded, excitement and hope fizzing beneath his skin, a combustible concoction that made him jittery with nervous energy. He had to see Greer. Now. This minute.

“I will,” he said, clapping Bainbridge on the shoulder. “Thank you, Laurie. Thank you very much.”

“Think nothing of it. Just call me the oracle from now on and tell everyone what a clever, sensible fellow I am, will you?”

“Sod off!”

“Well, there’s gratitude for you,” Bainbridge grumbled, but Raphe wasn’t listening. He needed to find Greer, because he had a great deal of apologising to do.

Chapter 11