Page 5 of Time To Learn

As we walk outside to the car, and I look up at the beautiful blue sky, I try not to stress too much about being late for our appointment.

Life is too short for worrying all thetime.

If only I listened to my own advice more often, things might be easier for me to handle in the longrun.

* * *

“Canwe go by the ice cream shop now?” Ailith asks me for the umpteenth time, a slight whine to her voice, after we leave the dentist.

“No, we can’t. You heard what he said—if you continue to eat too much sugar, your teeth will fallout.”

I put the receipt in my pocket as we walk down Sauchiehall Streetto get to the large bookshop, Waterstones.

Ailith kicks at a small stone on the pavement, and I take her hand in mine before we cross the street.

“But it’s so hot today.”

Looking down at her bent head, I try to come up with something to take her mind off ice cream for now. It’s not easy, and she’s right—it is a warmday.

“Let’s see if we can’t find a good book instead, Ailith. Gan-Gan did say we should treat ourselves to a little something, afterall.”

I squeeze her hand and offer her a wide smile when her sullen gaze meetsmine.

“Oh, okay,” she mumbles.

I want to roll my eyes at her, but I don’t—that wouldn’t be appropriate.

“Do you think Gan-Gan will be right this time, Mum?”

“About what?” I askher.

“Do you think you’ll find aman?”

Her question throws me completely, and I stop in my tracks. I squeeze her hand and wink ather.

“Listen, sweetie, I’m not going to the shop to try to find a man, okay?” I laugh at the absurdity of theidea.

She squints her eyes at me, and I bend down to kiss her on thenose.

“I don’t want a man. I have you, and that’s enough for me.” I tuck a loose strand of her wild curls behind her ear and kiss her on the cheek.

She shrugs.

“I don’t know. I’d like to see you smile again, Mummy.” She heaves a big breath as she looks away, avoiding my eyes. “You never smile anymore.”

“That’s not true,” I protest. “See?” I try to make my lips obey, but smiling without pretending isn’t easy for me. “I smile all thetime.”

She frowns at me before lifting her right hand, placing her index finger on the corner of my mouth.

“Your eyes are always sad, though. I don’t want you to be sad anymore.”

My heart cracks when she starts to sniffle, and I pull her into my arms, hugging her fiercely.

“Oh, sweetie…” I take a deep breath. “I’m not sad.” I try to mask the lie coating my words, and I think I succeed this time, because when she looks back at me, there aren’t any tears trickling down her cheeks.

“You promise?”

“Yes. I promise.”