Page 22 of Falling for Keeps

His eyes widen for a moment. Crap. I’ve given too much away. I know far more about this guy than I should.

“Your mom talks to me,” I say defensively. “I’m still not a stalker.”

“That’s yet to be determined.”

Give me a break. I can’t take his conceit anymore. Yeah, he has a daughter, and that’s reason enough to make sure the random woman from the bar doesn’t follow him around town and get all up in his business, but neither of us revealed the entire truth that night. We both held back.

Now I really need to kill this crush. Pour Roundup on it until it shrivels to dust. Maybe a date with Seth wouldn’t be so bad. One date to see if the things he said were true, if he really has matured enough to be half of an adult relationship. We’re not getting married. There’s no heavy commitment in going out once. It’s a healthy thing to do…date. I’m an adult, and I won’t find a man by sitting around and waiting for him to knock on my door.

“Well,” I say, lugging my powdered grout up by the handle. “My bathroom’s calling. So see you around—or not. Preferably not.”

“Ouch.”

He asked for it. I walk away, pausing over Penny, and tap the roller next to the one she’s looking at. “This one will be easier to use.”

She gives me a smile, revealing the missing tooth on the bottom.

I want to ask where her mom is, but that’s inappropriate on so many levels, and my curiosity doesn’t need to be satiated. Instead, I walk away, ignoring the heat boring into my back from Carson’s stare. When I finish my purchase and head outside, I open my phone to Seth’s number and type out a message, chewing on my lip and questioning my sanity.

Emma

So about that dinner…do you already have a date to Demi’s wedding?

Send.

Carson

No one tells you how many steps there are to painting a room when you’re picking out a color and taking home an innocent little can of ballerina pink. We got as far as pushing things away from the wall last night before giving up, and today’s been intermittent progress broken up by a trip to the office and a nature walk down the river, catching frogs and listening for birds.

I’m basically on my own now. Penny gave up halfway through taping and went outside to play in the backyard. Furniture is all covered, the baseboards are taped, and outlet covers removed. I haven’t even opened a paint can yet, and I’m tired of this project. I can’t pour all my focus into the office without giving an equal part of me to Penny, though. She needs to feel important and loved right now, and this is one small thing I can do for her.

Even if it’s taken all day to get essentially ninety minutes of work accomplished: paint, set up her new bedding, and install the hammock chair she was eyeing at the store the other day that I went back and secretly bought. This room needs to feel like an oasis, a special place just for Penny where she can process and escape and feel loved. Where she wants to be so she’s not wishing we were still in Tennessee.

Afternoon sunlight pours through the window, highlighting an old stuffed pink bunny Penny had found under the bed.

I snap a picture and send it to my sister.

Carson

Missing us? If you come visit, you can have Hops back.

She doesn’t immediately respond, so I toggle over to Instagram and my thumb hovers, resisting the temptation to scroll. I’m not active enough on social media to do anything like unfollow Jen, but I don’t particularly want to see her posts, either. Ever since the morning she stood across from me while I flipped pancakes and said she wanted a divorce, her life has been a steady stream of boyfriends and parties and girls’ nights in some attempt to become an influencer.

Back when we were still together, she tried using Penny to be a momfluencer for about five minutes before I put a kibosh on that. My daughter’s too young to see the difference between content creation and quality time, but eventually, the hollow nature of Jen’s objective would have become clear. Kids are insanely intuitive. Besides, my beautiful baby girl doesn’t need to be plastered all over the internet.

We never saw eye-to-eye on that one.

My phone vibrates, so I switch back over to messages.

Maven

Tell Penny she can have Hops. It’ll be like she’s hugging me every night.

Carson

You need a real hug? Because we’ll supply them. But only in Vermont.

Maven