Page 44 of Sour Notes
Me
Ok ok chill BB (see what I did there?) So, rules. I’ll start with the obvious. 1 - No afternoon delight.
No third time’s a charm.
No insert tab A into slot B.
In case I wasn’t clear enough already, absolutely NO SEX.
Swayze
Wow, way to take the fun out of it. Especially when we’re so good at it…
Me
Easy to be good at something when you’ve had loads of practice. Rule 1 addendum: No Sex - with each other, or anyone else while we’re “dating.”
Swayze
Noted.
2 - You need to delete the dating apps off your phone.
Me
Already done. Was only on them to try and find someone I could tolerate for this stupid wedding.
Swayze
What’s the deal with that?
Me
I need alcohol to dignify that with an answer.
Swayze
I’ll hold you to that.
Me
3 - We need to take some “couple” photos to post on our socials in the lead up.
Swayze
I don’t have socials.
Me
I forgot you’re a dinosaur. Fine, on MY socials. Unless you want to start one…
Swayze
Fuck that. You can take all the photos you want for your own, but I’m not doing that shit.
This goes both ways. If I need a “girlfriend” for any particular reason you have to be willing to attend and actually look like you like me.
Me
