Page 108 of Sour Notes

Not entirely unsurprising given the circumstances, though some would say it’s totally self-inflicted.

Heartless people.

I defy anyone who’s ever felt even a flicker for someone not to cave and do whatever is asked of them. You’d have to be dead inside.

Me? I’m a lot of things, but dead inside ain’t one of them.

Nauseous, red hot, and bothered, on the other hand—those are all present and accounted for.

Oh fuck me.

Especially watching Mia’s perfect round ass while she effortlessly moves into a downward facing dog.

This dog is facing the totally opposite direction.

Philip, the little shit, bleats at me, stomping a hoof on the mat.

Oh great. Now he’s turned into the yoga police.

Bending at my waist, I lower my hands down toward the mat, but this shit is uncomfortable. It’s not easy to fold myself into a fucking V with my dick not cooperating.

“You’re a little stiff. What’s your name, koumbare?”

Not sure what that word means, I really need to remember to ask Mia that later. A Greek word I do know is malaka, which is basically asshole—or wanker, according to Haven, who arms us with all the fun British terms.

And this malaka needs to take his hands off my hips if he knows what’s good for him.

“Swayze Wolff, and I’m fine.”

“Ahhhh, Wolff, I see that. Your spirit also screams wolf to me. Strong, but defensive. Loyal, but territorial. A worthy adversary.”

Nick snickers from somewhere and Mia smothers a laugh with a cough.

Why the fuck am I being singled out in class? I just wanted to blend into the background, maybe lie down and work on some breathing exercises—otherwise known as a nap.

Instead, I’ve got a two-hundred pound man draped over me, pushing my body into positions it doesn’t want to be in.

“Very good, Wolf, that’s it, relax those hips. It’s good for, how you say… copulation.”

Just as he backs away, the fucking goat jumps on my back.

“Oh look, Philip wants to copulate with the Wolfman.” Mario, who joined us this morning for shits and giggles, like a damn masochist, shouts out. The entire class erupts. Nick loses it completely, collapsing on his mat.

Grinding my teeth, I force air in and out through my nose to keep me from losing my shit and yeeting this fucking goat straight at the instructor’s head. Or maybe Mario’s. I’m not sure who’s pissing me off more right this second.

Mia walks over to me, talking softly to the demon spawn on my back.

Her voice sends shudders straight through me, making my cock twitch and preen like she’s talking to it. This is not my finest fucking moment.

She somehow convinces little Satan to jump off me and I could kiss her.

Fuck it, I will. It’s acceptable PDA for a couple and included in our previously stipulated rules.

Just as she straightens from petting the spawn, I grab her by the neck and pull her lips straight to mine. She stiffens before melting into the kiss, her hands curling into the fabric of my T-shirt as she presses herself to me.

Take that, Miyagi.

My copulation skills are just fine.