Page 108 of Tracking Snow

One pushes forward first, steady and controlled. Let’s just talk about this.

I pace the room, every muscle too hot and too tight. The walls feel closer than they were a second ago.

There is nothing to talk about, Five says. His voice is sharper than usual. Snow trusts us. She swore us to secrecy. We can’t betray her like that.

Two gives a low, sardonic laugh. We’ve been betraying her. Why should we stop now?

Five snaps back. Because we need to fix that.

Three’s voice comes softer. I know what losing Rosie did to Snow. I saw it.

Six answers with his usual precision. Yes, you told us about your dream walking and her friend. But we need to think of the bigger picture before we make any decisions.

You know how she is about her friends, I say. This will kill her. Possibly Ariel too. Just like Carolee.

One’s pressure tightens around the edges of my control. That was an accident, and you know it. Mother has a point when it comes to radical action in the name of progress. I don’t like the idea either, but Six is right. What is the bigger picture here? We can help Snow by helping her friends. Then one day, we can be whole. Normal. For her.

Five rises so fast it almost knocks the breath from our lungs. I’ve never felt him this worked up.

Didn’t you hear her? he demands. She loves us just as we are. All of us.

A silence opens.

Then Seven speaks from the deepest part of us.

Not all of us.

I swallow hard as the usual pressure of his existence spreads through my body. Heavy. Dark. Pained.

Two backs Five, though his tone has lost some of its bite. She said she loved you too.

She doesn’t know me, Seven says. She doesn’t know what I’ve done. What I’m capable of. She can’t love us if she doesn’t know this piece.

That’s not true, Five says. She loves us just as we are. And we love her. All of us. Even you. His indignation flares hotter. Don’t think we didn’t notice you surface to lead, just to see her. To feel her for yourself.

Three adds quietly, It’s true. We all noticed.

Seven’s silence stretches a beat too long.

Even if I do care for her, Seven says finally, each word dragged through something sharp, it’s more important that we keep her safe from us. Ariel is the key to making the world a better place. For Snow. For everyone. For us.

She is not a key, Five says.

Seven rolls over him. Do you think she is going to forgive us when she finds out we’re the ones taking her friends? When she finds out we’re tied to Carolee’s death? No. They were beautiful words, but Snow can’t love us when we’ve done what we have.

Six goes still. Do you mean what we’ve done to her friends, or what you’ve done with your powers?

Seven pauses.

Barely.

Then he goes on. If we show her why we did it, if we can prove her friends were the key to unlocking this miracle for the world, if we can be made into one whole human man for her, then we’ll be worthy of her love. We stand a chance at being forgivable.

Five’s voice breaks. I can’t do this. I won’t do this.

Three follows, quiet but firm. Neither can I.

I don’t want to keep lying to her, Six says. So I say no. We leave Ariel alone.