Page 48 of Captive

I am riding cloud nine after the night I spend with both Royal and Hawthorne. Hawthorne would’ve been enough to satisfy me, but Royal’s impromptu addition to the party? That’s the stuff dreams are made of right there. The ultimate threesome of a girl’s dreams, even if they didn’t really both have me at once. For a first time, that was enough.

And, I mean, if there’s a first time, there will probably be a second time, then a third, then a… you get the idea. If it happened once, it can happen again, and that possibility is enough to keep me happy.

Well, happy enough to make me stop thinking about my sister and what happened, and lately, that’s more than enough for me. That day defined the rest of my life, shaped who I am today, so it’s something impressive that a group of serial-killing men can make me feel like this.

Your girl is content. Happy. Things couldn’t get any better, and because of that, the days pass in a blur.

At least, that’s what I think until Hawthorne pulls me to the side one day, sits me down in his office, and tells me the news. Hint: it’s news I never thought I’d get, not here. Out in the real world, let’s just say I would’ve waited until I was more confident in my abilities.

Now? It’s not just my abilities. I’m not alone anymore. Now I have multiple guys who would help me.

Hawthorne sits at his desk, his hands folded on his closed laptop. His amber eyes are crisp and clear, and though he holds my stare easily, I can’t help but wonder if he’s also thinking about the last time I was in here, how we ended up in the bed with Royal as an eventual third.

“The Benefactor finally got back to me,” he tells me. “I passed along Connor Connair’s name once I did some research on the man. The Benefactor has approved Connor as our next target.”

My breath catches. My heart does something funny in my chest. All the years of planning, all the years of vengeful hope. It’s going to happen. It’s really going to happen. Connor will get exactly what he deserves and then some, and maybe, finally, my sister’s memory can be at peace.

Maybe I can be at peace.

“That isn’t to say we are going to jump on him now,” he continues with a knowing nod. “We still have to be smart about it. The Benefactor is having a team surveil Connor. They’ll learn his routine, tell us when and where to strike. I’ve done my bit of research on him, and it seems he doesn’t tend to stick in one place too long. It’s going to be a challenge. Not impossible, but a challenge nonetheless.”

I don’t care how much of a challenge it turns out to be. Taking him down would be enough, even if I had to go away to do it. I don’t want to get caught and go to prison, but sometimes sacrifices have to be made.

D.D.K. can’t go on forever. Sooner or later the jig will be up. If I have to take the fall so these guys can stay out of prison, then that’s what I’d do.

I’d do it in a heartbeat.

Swallowing hard, I say, “Thank you for doing that. You didn’t have to.”

Hawthorne gives me a soft smile. “Actually, I did. With everything, helping you get the man responsible for your sister’s pain and suicide is the least we can do. We dealt with our demons, so it’s only fair we help you handle yours.” His gaze falls to the bracelet on my wrist, the tracking device that I honestly forget exists most of the time.

“What’s more,” he says, “is that the Benefactor is continuing to open up to the idea of permanently allowing you to join us. That would mean you no longer have to be tracked, that you could leave the house whenever you wanted, provided you’re smart about things. Obviously, it does not mean you can go back to your old life and resume your old… solo activities.”

I can’t help myself. “By solo activities, I’m assuming you don’t mean masturbating.”

Even now, after everything, the man blushes and looks away. I’ll never get tired of that. His blushing is silly but so adorable.

When he doesn’t say a word, when he continues to stare to the side like he can’t believe I said what I just said, I decide to really beat that horse until it’s dead, and then some. “You know, flicking the bean? Going to town on myself? Petting the ol’ kitty cat? I can keep going, if you want—”

He lets out a long breath and pinches the bridge of his nose beneath his glasses. “I’d rather you didn’t.” Once he recovers himself, those amber eyes return to me. “For the record, I don’t mean any of that. I mean the killing.”

“Obviously.”

“Is that something you would be okay with? Could you give that up?”

“Would I have to? I mean, I’d still be here, wouldn’t I? I have a mask that matches Royal’s and Ezra’s. I might have to give up my solo activities, as you so weirdly described them, but I wouldn’t have to give it up completely… unless after Connor you guys are going to be done with killing.”

Hawthorne relaxes somewhat, leaning back in his leather chair. “I don’t think D.D.K. is done yet. I’ve no doubt it’ll happen in the future, but for now, we are still good to go.”

I grin at him. “So, when you talked to the Benefactor, did you mention us?”

He coughs awkwardly, just as I imagined he would. “I, uh, did not tell him about what happened between us, just as I didn’t tell him what happened between you and Royal—” He barely gets the words out, but that’s okay. I don’t need him to say it.

I can say it.

“Or between me, Royal, and you.”

Hawthorne manages to frown, something that must’ve taken a lot of work on his part. “Nothing happened between me, Royal, and you. It happened between you and me, and you and Royal, but it’s not a triangle. There was nothing between Royal and me.”