Page 39 of Wells

"There you are."

Locke drops next to me and opens the box. He holds out a slice of king cake without a word.

I take it and bite through the cinnamon and icing. The sugar sticks to my fingers.

"Start talking before I start guessing, because you know I will make it worse."

I stare at the river. A gull lands on the rocks below us, then lifts off again. The drums roll closer, then fade.

"I can't believe I'm about to say this out loud, but I had sex with Wells last night."

Locke doesn't react. He pulls off a chunk of cake and chews. "And?"

"And nothing. It happened. We were working late, and I honestly don't know how it happened, but I didn't stop it."

"Um, I'm going to need more than that."

"I wanted him." The words catch in my throat, sharper than I expect. "I honestly don't know what to say. He kind of grates on my nerves, to be completely honest. But he's hot as fuck, and all of this shit going on with Midnight, I guess my body needed some real skin for once. It's like it all just exploded."

The cold air hits my cheeks. My fingers worry the edge of the blanket, pulling at the frayed corner. My stomach drops because telling him makes it real in a way I didn't expect.

"Midnight pays me to be what he needs. Cas needed me to be useful until I stopped being worth the effort. Even the job, I am hired to make Wells's work digestible for people who do not want to think too hard."

The parade drums thump somewhere beyond the trees. I swallow and keep going.

"But last night, I wanted something just for me. Not because he asked, not because I was earning my place or proving I could handle it. I wanted to fuck, and it felt good."

My throat tightens. I press my palms into the blanket and try to breathe through the sharp twist in my chest. I turn into pigeon pose and prop my chin up on my hands.

The river slides past below us. A barge horn sounds, low and long. He doesn't make a joke or try to make sense of it beyond what I'm telling him.

"Well, that's fucking amazing," he says finally.

I nod. The honesty sits between us, too naked to leave alone.

Sitting back up, I reach for the cake box and tear off another piece. "Anyway. It was just, you know. A desk. Friday. Done."

He breaks off a piece of cake and chews slowly, still watching me. The parade drums thump somewhere past the trees, closer now, then fade again. A jogger passes behind us on the path. I watch the river and will the conversation forward.

"I say good, girl. It's high time you do something because you want it, not because you think you have to for some goddamned man."

The guilt sits in my chest. I pull my knees up and wrap my arms around them.

"But," I bite the word off, hating how it sounds before I even finish the thought. "It feels like I cheated on Midnight."

The silence that follows is so complete I can hear my own heartbeat.

Then Locke sits up, his face lighting with pure delight. "I'm sorry. Did you just tell me you emotionally cheated on a black screen?"

"Shut up."

"He's a faceless man living god knows where, probably fucking a hundred women."

"Locke, I swear to god."

I grab a piece of cake and throw it at him. He dodges, laughing, and I want to shove him off the levee.

"You're the worst."