Page 287 of Light Leech

“Babe, she left you because you have a ruler up your ass trying to measure your intelligence when we all know it’s an act.”

“We?”

“You know, I created them just to ruin your life, knowing you would deny me a decent conversation here.”

“The zeg are you talking about?”

She leaned in. “I’m saying that there are more things to life than being a self-proclaimed genius. Maybe if your head wasn’t in your neurospace all day your wife wouldn’t have left you.”

She kissed him on the cheek, violet light radiated out from where her lips connected.

He swung his arm wide for a slap, but she ducked away just in time for the slap to connect with one of his companions, who held his chin so high it was almost at a forty-five degree angle.

Rather than react to the slap as a typical human would, the man’s image seized, blurring for a second as if he was glitching.

Ralia laughed and pulled me away as a fight broke out among the group.

“Can you hurt other people in here?” I asked.

“Oh, no reprimand for causing problems this time?”

I smirked. “He deserves it.”

“They all do, babe. Most of these pompous shacs couldn’t care less about actual intelligence. They want the badge of knowledge like every other idiot who thinks they know what the world is actually like. They’d all piss themselves if they knew but a fraction of what you do.”

“Still, I’m not as good as they are at manipulating the system to appear smart. I don’t have the net smarts like you.”

“Which is why I’m here to help. They act all bold and ready, but they have no zegging idea what is coming.”

“Do you?”

“Nope, which makes this fair.”

I shrugged. “I guess that’s fine.”

“What did you ask again? Oh yeah, pain. Well, it’s not the same as it is outside. That shac isn’t going to feel his cheek throb from a skin on skin slap.”

“I figured that after seeing his image flip out.”

“Exactly. Pain in here is more cognitive. Your body freaks out because the mind that is here thinks it should feel pain, but it doesn’t. It’s an attack on the conscience, like a panic attack or guilt turned to the max. Or kind like if you see something that you know can’t exist, yet your vision argues otherwise. You said you saw something like that in the sea, right?”

“Yeah, but I’d rather forget it.”

“I figure. Think of it like a bad fix trip. This world connects to our minds the same way as most fixes do.”

“Because you’re an expert on them now that you’ve created one?”

“I know enough to make guys like that lose it. My point is, try not to get hurt in here. I doubt you’ll be spared from all the pain if this test is as zegged up as anything in the world outside but do your best to stay smart. Remember what is on the line. Be selfish and let these people get hurt before you.”

“Well–”

A voice interrupted me. Everyone looked around for a source, though no one seemed to be able to find it. It wasn’t quite a loud announcement, rather a tame voice–the one that belonged to the being who greeted us upon entry–that we could hear despite the crowd.

“Welcome, students, to this round of the Standardized Test! In a moment, the second floor will open for you to begin the first segment. Please proceed in an orderly manner, respecting your fellow students. You have five minutes to reach the second floor. Any delays will not be tolerated and will result in immediate failure and expulsion. Please proceed as instructed, you wouldn’t want to fail on the entrance segment would you? What a shame you would be!”

A rectangular potion in the ceiling disappeared and the room became a cacophonous cluster of impatient pride as every self-proclaimed scholar shouted that they deserved to be one of the first to reach the staircase.

Fortunately for us, Ralia had aimed her rage-baiting conversations towards the staircase.