Page 52 of Sparrow

And I’m just a beggar.

And yet here we are in the middle of the night, our arms pressed together as she tells me her secrets like she’s been holding them for too long and is desperate for someone to listen.

And fuck, I’m in trouble.

Because no one has ever trusted me the way she’s trusting me right now. And I’ve never been so tempted to trust anyone in return, fueled by cocoa and whiskey and laughter. Whispers at 2AM and deals made in nighttime kitchens. Fainting spells and twenty blocks of running; bare feet and messy hair and pajamas and bets made in the spur of the moment.

Hell, no one has even looked at me long enough to offer half of that.

“I don’t miss New York,” I say quietly. “I didn’t feel like I belonged to that world. Didn’t belong until I got here.”

Didn’t belong until right now, I don’t add.

And then I realize what I just admitted–if not to her, then at least to myself.

I finish my drink, swallowing the pain as it burns on the way down, and then hand her the empty mug. “Goodnight.”

I know it’s not fair. I know she’s handing me midnight stories and vulnerabilities, and I’m paying her back by walking away from her without explanation.

Again.

But she’s a princess and I’m a pauper and that is a road that I cannot cross.

And I can’t keep letting her think I will.

Arden

Iwake up the next morning feeling like I had too much whiskey last night.

Possibly because I stayed up drinking–and thinking–long after Orion stalked off without another word after telling me more than a little about how he felt when he was living in New York.

I still don’t know much about him. His history is shrouded in darkness and secrecy, probably on purpose, but I’m starting to piece it together. He feels like someone who had parents he couldn’t count on, and his statement about people not noticing when you disappeared in the city reeks of running away from home... and parents who didn’t search for you.

I can relate. I didn’t run on purpose, but I know for a fact that my father isn’t searching for me.

If he was, he would have found me by now.

Hell, if they were looking, I’m certain Sonya would have said something to her brother about it. And yet Mars hasn’t heard a peep from New York.

I still think I should head home. I’m safest there, with the guards and armored vehicles my family has at their beck and call. I’m certainly not secure here in Wood, where the very MC that was holding me lives right down the road.

Here, it’s only a matter of time until everything comes to a head.

Which makes my reluctance to leave very, very confusing.

I could have been on a train home three days ago. By this time I’d be back in my father’s house, secure and safe and going back to my regular life.

And yet.

I throw my legs out of bed and climb to my feet, forcing myself to stand up straight and face the day. And the moment I’m up, I realize that my head isn’t as sore as I thought. The fog that surrounded me in bed starts to lift, and I can feel my eyes clearing.

Excellent.

That means I can carry forward with my plan for today.

Because as long as I’m going to be here, I want to know who I’m living with. It’s time I start figuring out Mars and Orion.

An hour later I’m downstairs, showered and breakfasted, and I’m ready to start exploring. I move down the hall that leads into the garage, open the door, and peek out into the space.