Page 70 of Sweet Redemption

“Any chance you can put on pants?” I croak, fully aware I sound like a dying frog.

“What the hell?” she snaps and pulls up the hem of the hoodie. “I have on shorts, asshole. Four minutes.”

My brain short-circuits as I focus on the small pink incision around her knee and the much longer one where they probably took a graft for her ACL surgery. “I’m going to need more time, Serena.”

“You’ve had three years, Hendrix.” She crosses her arms over her chest, and the motion pulls that damn hoodie up.

Fuck me. I decide I liked it better when it looked like she didn’t have on pants because the shitty excuse for shorts look more like glorified underwear, and that has my brain misfiring for a whole other reason.

“Why now? Why is it suddenly so important that we talk? Because it’s convenient for you now? Because you’re home now? Because you finally got your wish and are playing for my father now? Tell me why it matters—why I suddenly matter, and I’ll give you all the time you want.”

Bracing myself for the blowback, I step into her space, needing her to hear this.

To hear me.

What I’m saying, and what I’m not.

“She knew she was dying, Serena.” The words taste like ash in my mouth, everything about those weeks blending together. “Britt found out she was pregnant, and two months later when she went for her first appointment, they found the cancer. She didn’t know who Bodhi’s dad was. It really was a drunken one-night stand after a playoff game. It just wasn’t with me.”

It couldn’t have been because the only person I wanted to celebrate with that night was the woman in front of me now, but she was on a soccer field in Seattle.

“She didn’t have insurance. She didn’t come from a family like either of ours. Her mom means well, but she couldn’t help. She had nothing . . .” I’ll never forget the fear in her eyes when she told me. “She needed my help. She needed a dad for Bodhi.”

Serena drops her arms to her sides, some of the fight disappearing.

“Try to remember where we were, princess.” I drop my voice and close the distance between us but don’t touch her. Not yet. “You begged me to walk away. You said no. And before you say it, I’m not fighting with you about that. I asked you to marry me, and you said no. She needed me. She needed someone to be Bodhi’s father. She was my best friend, and she was pregnant and knew she was dying. With treatment, they said she had three, maybe five years.”

Tears pool in her eyes, but she refuses to let them fall.

Damn, but this woman has always been stronger than she’s given herself credit for.

“But to get five years, she needed to terminate the pregnancy and start treatment immediately, and she didn’t want to do that.” I smile, picturing her holding Bodhi in the delivery room. “Britt wanted Bodhi so badly. He was her chance at a family. She said a year with him would be worth eighty without him.”

But she never made it a year.

“So you married her,” she whispers, refusing to meet my eyes.

I slide a hand to her beautiful face, my fingers skimming her soft skin, and lift her eyes to mine. “I married her because you didn’t want me. And if I couldn’t have you, marrying my best friend so I could give her insurance and take care of her son . . . so I could be there for her when she died and I could be there for him forever . . . it was a no-brainer. The only thing that’s ever been harder was walking away from you.”

She drags her thumbs under my eyes, and I wrap my fingers around her wrists, holding her there. It’s the first time Serena Kingston has touched me in over three years, and I’m not ready for her to stop. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

The words are pained but not venomous.

“Because I promised Britt I wouldn’t tell anyone,” I admit.

“Hendrix,” she gasps, horror dawning on her face as the truth of it all sets in. “Your family doesn’t know? How is that possible? You’re all so close.”

“Because they’re not you. You’re the only person that gets this truth.” I turn her hand and press her palm against my face. This woman was once everything to me. I lived for the feel of her body against mine. For the feel of her in my arms. “You want to know why this all matters now?” I push, my eyes locked on hers. “Because I’m at a place in my life where I can let it matter. I’ve spent the past few years holding my life together with duct tape and string. My entire focus has been on Bodhi. On making sure he was okay. Making sure he knew he was safe and loved. I’ve been putting one foot in front of the other for so fucking long, I haven’t thought about what I wanted.” I press my mouth to her open palm, and a shiver rolls down her body. “Or what I needed . . . Until the trade. Until I knew I was ready to come home. Until I knew I was ready to fight for you.”

Serena pulls back and tips her face up, the foot height difference between us forcing her to back up. “What changed?”

“Everything.” That one word holds so much truth. “I let you walk away from me once, Serena. I accepted it when you said no.”

“I—”

I dig my hands into the front of her hoodie and pull her closer. “I’m done accepting it, princess.”

“So what are you saying? You want a do-over?”