Page 55 of Sweet Redemption

“Yeah, she does. It’s weird. I just always want to be around her. It’s like she makes everything better just by being there.” He sits back in his chair and kicks his feet out as he looks at me. “Is that how it was with you and Britt? I mean, one minute I could have sworn something was going on with Serena and you, and the next—bam—you were marrying Britt.”

“Britt and I were different,” I admit.

“She was a good girl, man. We all miss her.”

“Yeah,” I groan. “Me too.”

“Listen, you can tell me to fuck off, and I won’t say another word, but you’ve been my best friend my whole life, so I feel like I have to say something.”

I wait, not sure what he’s about to say.

“It’s been over two years, Hendrix. No one is going to judge you if you move on. I didn’t know her very well, but I doubt Britt would have wanted you to be alone for the rest of your life.”

Knowing he’s right and doing something about it are two very different things.

Lucky for me, Mav and Jamie walk back into the room with another round of beers and the pizzas we ordered stacked between them. “All right.” Jamie grins as he hands out the beers. “Who’s ready to lose their money?”

I’m not sure what makes me open the box of letters tonight.

Maybe it’s because when I told the guys I was marrying Britt, they somehow managed to coordinate schedules with my brothers and fly out to Chicago for my own version of a bachelor party, consisting of poker, beer, and Chicago deep-dish pizza. I love Kroydon Hills, but compared to Chicago, the pizza blows.

Who am I fucking with?

It’s not the nostalgia that has me pulling out the next letter.

It’s guilt.

Guilt because I didn’t need Ryker to tell me to move on. I already knew I was ready.

Hell, I already know my next move. But the guilt is still there, eating me alive.

Because moving on means telling the truth.

And telling the truth is going to hurt everyone.

I pull out the next card, this one marked with a blue number two in the corner, and lean back on the couch.

Hendrix,

Okay, if you’ve made it this far, you must have moved home. Are your brothers and sisters driving you crazy yet? I’m sure they are. Did I ever tell you the first time I watched the five of you together, I cried? The relationships you all have is beautiful. It’s what I always wanted growing up. It’s what I want for Bodhi too.

Now don’t say fuck no just yet.

You said it, right?

Side note – try to watch how much you curse in front of Bodhi. I’d like his first words not to be curse words. And depending on when you move home, between you and your siblings, I’m sure it wouldn’t be a stretch.

Anyway, back to the important stuff. Namely, our son.

Don’t make him grow up alone, Hendrix. Don’t use me as an excuse not to date or not to get married again. Don’t deny him the love of a mother and a father. She won’t be me, but I know you, you’re a good man, and you’ll marry a woman who will love my son like he’s hers, or you won’t marry her.

Don’t curse me out. You know I’m right.

And when you do marry her, have more babies. Fill up a house. Make Bodhi the oldest of a million kids. Well, not a million. Give that future wife a break every now and then because pregnancy is hell. But have babies. Lots of them. Teach Bodhi to be as protective of his siblings as Everly and Gracie are of you. Make sure he teases them the way Leo does and covers for them the way Nixon does.

What do you always say? Nobody knows you like your siblings.

The Sinclairs against the world, right?