Page 135 of Styx

‘My banishment from Oceanus’s palace

had laid claim to much of my mind.

I was not thinking clearly who heard me.

Metis was in the hallway, about to enter

my chambers, when she heard me say

the words, that I had protected him

by taking her in. I did not know she

had heard me until she entered and asked,

“Am I not yours, Father?” ’

My heart stopped and I felt as though

every drop of ichor was drained from my body.

The terrible secret we had kept from her was out.

Metis knew.

How to Find a Lost Goddess

First, you must know why a Goddess becomes lost. A secret is kept from her. A story of her origin hidden in the dark. A tale that should be beautiful is buried, out of sight, hidden inside a dark cave. There are many ways to lose a Goddess. Many ways to lose a sister, a daughter, a friend. You must admit that you have created her despair. You must know the path that this will lead her to take is one that is far away from you. To find her, you must make amends. To find her, you must admit that you are to blame. That a nymph who becomes a Goddess has a different path in an immortal life. That a daughter kept secret will eventually learn her truth. To find her, learn the map of the seas, the stars, and the soil. Goddesses know well how to disappear when they do not wish to be found. This is what women and Goddesses share in common. Women get lost all the time. Did no one ever tell you this tale? Who else do you think is singing to you in the dark?

Lessons in Cartography

It was Perses who spoke in the end.

Perses who saw what we needed was hope.

He took Asteria’s and Leto’s hands

and made a promise to them both.

‘We will find her. We will bring her home.’

Pallas held me while I wept.

Did Metis blame me too?

Did she know I knew the secret

and kept it from her too?

She was the only Oceanid sister

I had ever loved and I had never told her

for I thought it would keep her safe.

Now she was gone, and all I wanted

was to let her know this was all for her.