Page 51 of Roses & Ruin

“Like anything, no two vampire-maker bonds are the same. Vampires turn humans for different reasons. It can be more familial: a parent, child, or sibling kind of deal. Sometimes it’s mentor and mentee. No matter what, that connection is strong, unquestionably intimate. Think about it. Your maker is there for your first kill, first feed. They teach you in your most vulnerable newborn moments. And unlike when you’re a human, you remember everything.”

“Tell me about Nico.” I put my hand gently on hers. Delia blinks down at my fingers, covers them with her other hand.

“I won’t bore you with the details,” she says thickly. “I was a peasant born in the slums of London. My mother actually did give birth to me during a production of The Winter’s Tale, like I told you when we first met. But in the audience, among the rabble. Women weren’t allowed onstage yet in the 1600s.” Delia pulls back, tucking her arms tight against her chest, casting a hollow gaze out the window. “Nico found me. And for whatever reason, he fell in love with me. Rose, he was…so beautiful. Men and women, peasants and gentry fell in love with him after one glance at his face. He had dimples, and I loved running my hands through his hair, especially after…well. Anyway.”

Delia falls quiet for a few long moments. I watch her, aching for her, trying not to let my tears fall. It feels sacrilegious, the little eighteen-year-old mortal crying over her incomprehensible loss.

“He saved me, Rose,” she finally continues. “Before him, my world was brown, made of mud and shit and the dead-toothed smiles of men with greedy, violent hands who were always grasping and yanking at my clothes, my hair. Nico saved me. He gave the world color. Took it with him when he died.” Her eyes fall shut. “This is something else you need to understand, Rose. Hayden and I? We’re the fucking Dalai Lama of vampires.

“There are some very ancient vampires out there who only consort with their own kind. They’ll live in seclusion, lose any ounce or memory of their humanity. When a vampire lives like that, they become something else entirely. They’ll roam the world, territorial, savage demons, slaughtering humans like livestock and killing any vampire they see as a threat.” Delia takes a painful pause. “I didn’t know,” she whispers. “I was so thirsty, and I…I didn’t know it was another vampire’s territory. Hard to sense other vamps sometimes. Nico wanted to wait until night to hunt, but I was so thirsty, I begged for him to hunt.” Delia buries her face in her hands. “It was my fault he was hunting there that day. If I’d waited like he’d asked, he never would have…” Delia drops her hands, looks me in the eye. “I watched, hidden in the bushes, as Nico was torn apart in front of me.”

“Delia…” I clap my hands over my mouth, eyes welling. “I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah, well.” Delia sniffs. “It was over so fast. The vampire vanished before I could do anything. Retreated like a coward to his nest of fellow killers. It took me a long time before I finally accepted Nico was gone for good.” Delia exhales a long breath. “Which is when I found Hayden. Or maybe he found me.”

“You found each other,” I say.

Delia cocks her head at me, smiling faintly. “I was a wraith. A void of a being. Just…empty. But then, when I met him, for the first time since losing Nico, I had”—Delia’s eyes shine—“hope. Like maybe there was still something left in this world for me. I’d never met anyone else who could remotely understand what it was like to lose Nico, and he had just lost you a second time. What’s the saying? Misery loves company?

“Hayden was there for me in a way no one else had ever been. And so I’m there for him. Every time he loses you, he…Jesus, Rose, he becomes a fucking mess. I get it. Every time, my heart bleeds because, well, at least I only lost Nico once. Watching him endure what I went through? Over and over and over?” Delia’s voice trembles.

“Oh god.” I feel a wave of nausea wash over me.

“Don’t worry, I help him. Every time. I’m there for him. Just like he was there for me. He’s the little brother I never had. When he picked up my pieces, I swore I’d see him through this. It’s the least I could do. After all he’s done for me?” Delia’s eyes shimmer with emotion.

I’m feeling light-headed and heartsore. Everything inside me pulses tender and painful. This is so much. My entire universe keeps shattering and re-forming.

“I’m glad—so glad—he has you, Delia,” I say earnestly.

“Are you kidding? I don’t know what I’d do without him.” Delia smiles, a tiny, warm one.

“You must mean it. I can’t imagine you agreeing to babysit his silly little mortal otherwise.”

Delia’s eyes soften. She leans forward and puts her hand on mine.

“Ro, I volunteered. He was so anxious, wanting to stay away, finding it impossible to keep tabs on you when you got here. I asked if he wanted help, because I care about him.” Delia pauses. “And then you and I met. And hung out. And…I don’t know. It stopped feeling like a favor after a while.” She leans back, eyeing me thoughtfully. “Like I said before, you and I have never really hung out. Whenever he finds you, I let him have his time with you, as much as he can. Every time, I hope it’s for forever, longer than a year, but…well.” Delia rubs her forehead. “I’ve seen you before, of course. Sort of met you in passing. I never told Hayden this, but…I always thought you were a boring little prude.”

“Delia!” I drop my jaw, half offended. I hurl a stevia pack at her face and she nips it deftly out of the air between two fingers.

“Obviously, I don’t think that anymore.” She rolls her eyes. “Humans are so sensitive.”

“Me particularly so, I think.” I wince.

“Maybe that’s not such a bad thing.” Delia’s eyes roam my face before her expression falls grave. She sits up straighter. “Rose, I know I joke a lot. But I want to promise you something. I’m gonna make sure we fix things this time, okay?” Her voice is fervent. “If it’s the last thing I do, I’ll find a way to help make sure this time things are different.” Delia reaches out, takes both of my hands. “I swear it.”

I squeeze her hands, choking back tears, overwhelmed with gratitude and love. Please don’t let me lose her either. I don’t want to lose either of them.

I don’t want to die.

“Okay,” I whisper.

“Okay.” Delia’s smile is as hopeful as a sunrise. It’s contagious, that hope, filling me with a pinkish glow. “Oh, and Rose? Go easy on Hayden. I know he’s been sort of an idiot to you this time around, but”—she sighs, exasperated—“don’t hold it against him. He’d die before he’d hurt you.”

“Delia,” I begin, “if he loves me so much, then why won’t he—”

“You girls need anything?”

I slam my mouth shut when the waitress appears at our table, beaming down at us, hands on her hips. She glances out the window, her eyes widening. “My god, it’s snowing.”