Page 31 of Roses & Ruin

“Your…date?” I chew my lip as I carefully fold his cardigan and hand it back to him. I meet his eyes. “Why?”

“Because I like you?” he says as he puts his cardigan back on.

“Why?” I say again. Julian shakes his head, huffing a laugh and shrugging on a coat.

“Um, because you’re easy to talk to. I don’t ever feel like you’re putting on a front. You’re one of the only ones who actually pay attention to me in class. And now every time I see a pigeon, all I can do is think about how bloody misunderstood they are.”

“That’s a reason to like me?” I scrunch up my nose.

Julian’s eyes rove my face. “Absolutely,” he murmurs. “Come on. I’ll walk you out.”

I’m trying to take this all in as we head out the classroom. It doesn’t hit me until we step into the crisp, cold fog: Julian likes me. He could totally have asked anyone to go with him to the art show. But he asked…me.

“You don’t have to answer now.” Julian lifts his face to a sweet autumn wind. “You can sleep on it.” He frowns. “You definitely should sleep on it, actually. I forgot you’re terribly sleep deprived. Wouldn’t want you to make any poor decisions in this state.”

“Course not.” I tuck my smile into my scarf. “So, how do I let you know my answer? Should I just raise my hand in class?”

“God, no. Unless the answer’s a definite yes?” Julian teases. I give him a look I hope is coy. “Until then…” He pulls out his phone. “The poor man’s messenger pigeon.”

I chew my lip as we swap numbers. How is this happening? It’s so…easy.

Why do some people have to make it so difficult?

Julian hands me back my phone, and I beam up at him. “Thank you,” I say fervently. “For everything today. You, um. Really made my week.”

His smile softens into something more subtle, something for just us two.

“That’s another reason I like you,” he says in a low voice. “This right here.” He flicks a finger at both my eyes. “I use this brand of oil paint that gives their colors these fun names. And on days like today, when the sky is just a single sheet of clouds, I can’t decide if your eyes are more Meteor Shower or Stargazer.”

“That, Julian, is what I believe they call a line.” I tilt my head up at him. “Has that ever worked for you?”

“You tell me.”

“I dunno,” I say. “I’ll have to sleep on it. Then I’ll let you know.”

“Please do.” The husk of his voice makes my stomach swoop. He starts walking away backward so he doesn’t take his eyes off me. “Until then.” He stops walking, makes a show of staring at my face. “Stargazer today, I think,” he says, then turns around and walks away.

I watch him, clutching my phone to my chest, overwhelmed. So this is what it feels like: Flirting with a cute boy. Being wanted. Being chosen. No confusion. No games.

A breeze threads through my hair, sending a shiver down my spine. Handfuls of leaves dance on the wind, brush by my ear.

Rose, I swear it whispers as it goes by.

Rose.

Chapter 11

I wake up to a text from my mom.

Mom:

How’s my big college girl?

Any more fun nights out?

Meet any cute boys?!?!

I rub my eyes and flip onto my stomach, trying to breathe out the feeling of icy, flooded lungs. Last night I dreamed of sinking to the bottom of a lake. I still have the taste of fish and mud on my tongue. I sigh, typing out a reply.