Page 31 of Catching Feelings

As if I’d dare.

I’m swept out the short, narrow hallway with the rest of them, the din from the gym getting louder and louder as we approach. No matter how nervous I’d been in the locker room, I get the same feeling I always have before a big game. Lightning in my veins, every scream from the crowd making me feel important and invincible and needed.

I join the guys as we run to the center of the gym. The lights have been covered with blue-and-white gels, the bleachers are full of students stamping their feet on the boards to make them quake, and the Hawks mascot is flapping its feathery wings to hype up the crowd. It’s a full scene.

But all I’m seeing is Sabrina standing at the edge of the bleachers, watching everything to make sure it goes off without a hitch. Her hair is braided, ribbons weaving through the strands, and she’s wearing a shirt printed with the names of every single football player. Even mine.

When I catch her eye, I give her a classic Sabrina wink. I don’t know if she can see it from here, but when she grins at me, I imagine she did. I hope she did.

We’re gonna do you proud, blondie.

The pep rally kicks off with a routine from the cheerleaders that’s full of nearly as many high kicks as the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders’. Principal Castillo gives a speech that I gather is about school spirit and uniting through adversity and supporting one another through challenges, but I couldn’t repeat a single sentence. The longer it goes on, the more the nerves butterfly in my stomach.

The only full sentence I catch is the last one:

“And now… introducing your Hamilton Lakes Varsity football team!”

The crowd roars, rivaling the rush of blood pounding in my ears.

Will kicks it off with his series of impressions—his Nixon is especially good—and by the time Gabe takes the floor with his batons, everyone is losing their goddamn minds. I’ve never heard people scream so loud for a juggler.

Finally, I step up, feeling like a total idiot, holding a microphone. Kai joins me with a grin, and I step behind him so the mic is partially concealed but my face is visible. When I told him Sabrina put a moratorium on ventriloquism dummies, he immediately volunteered. He’s an even bigger ham than Avery ever was.

“I know you might not know this guy,” I say—but my mouth barely moves, and Kai is mouthing the words along with me, so it seems like he’s saying it. “But I can guarantee he’s going to bring all his muscle to the first game, and he’s mighty proud to be a Hawk. Fly high!”

I step away, blushing furiously to the uproarious applause. Under any other circumstances, I’d be fleeing from this much attention. But I keep my eyes on Sabrina, who’s beaming and whooping, waving her hands in the air like my ridiculous talent is as admirable as any game I could help this team win. I shake my head, laughing too. She makes it feel like all this could just be… fun. Like this year could be safe for me.

Maybe it can be.

By the end of the pep rally, everyone’s on their feet in the bleachers. The team is stationed by the gym doors, holding up our hands for high fives, accepting well-wishes for the first game. I can’t even be nervous—it’s just so nice to have so many people celebrating you, expecting nothing but the best.

“That was pretty epic,” a guy tells a friend on his way out.

“Seriously.” Guy number two shakes his head in disbelief. “The Spirit Committee must not have slept for weeks.”

Can confirm. I look for Sabrina, wanting to congratulate her on the fruits of her hard work. She’s making her way through the crowd, cleaning up confetti and grabbing pom-poms from the cheerleaders.

But when she catches my eye, she just drops the poms and rushes my way. The expectant smile on her face makes me feel like I could float clear away.

“Well?” she asks, breathless, as she approaches. “How was it? Did we do okay? That music cue at the end was off, it—”

I just sweep her into a hug, squeezing tight and fast. The adrenaline is for sure to blame, but I let it carry me away. Sabrina’s feet kick up as my hands go to her waist. Her hair brushes my neck as she squeezes me back, her scent all around me. I can feel her smile against my ear.

“It was great,” I say, forcing myself to put her down so I can look into her eyes while I compliment her. “The best pep rally I’ve ever been to.”

Her cheeks are bright with color, but she still manages to prop her hands on her hips and cock her head at me. “Well, that’s because it’s your first Hamilton Lakes pep rally, silly.”

I do my best to smile, though my heart is hammering against my chest with the force of a battering ram. “Maybe so.”

But all I can think about is how hugging her was a huge mistake. Because as unforgettable as my first Hamilton Lakes pep rally was, my first hug from Sabrina is even more indelibly etched into my memory. And now all I want to do is get my arms around her again.

The season kickoff party is at Gabe’s house. It’s a smallish split-level, but since it sits on the outskirts of town, it has a big yard and a hill behind it that slopes into an empty field.

The perfect setting for tonight. It’s warm enough that we can be outside, and there’s a bonfire roaring like it’s still summer. We’re taking advantage of the lack of close neighbors to blast music as loud as possible, and coolers are full of every beverage imaginable. Gabe’s only rules are that football players need to be ready for practice tomorrow, and no one drives themselves home unless they’ve only been drinking Sprite.

I don’t get a moment alone. Everyone wants to wish me good luck at the upcoming game (gratefully accepted), or ask me where I learned ventriloquy (Savannah will be thrilled to hear how much of a role she’s playing in my new school’s lore), or ask how I like Hamilton Lakes (surprisingly, even more than I thought I would). For once, I don’t feel like fading away into the background—I let myself get swept into conversation after conversation, accept a second drink when I finish my first. Today, I just want to enjoy this town the way everyone else does.

The bass thumps so loudly, it makes my chest vibrate, and everyone keeps patting me on the back, telling us we’re going to be amazing. I can’t stop smiling.