Page 56 of The Last Aether

They instantly fell back, disappearing into the trees around the dorm.

“Atlas said you were homesick.”

My mouth pressed into a hard line. I’d have to give my gentle giant some shit for being a gossip. Reeling in my annoyance, I tried again for the truth, knowing that Riven and I would never make any progress if we were biting each other’s heads off. “I think I miss my old life. Things were simpler. But that life wasn’t real.”

Guilt flashed across Riven’s expression. “I’m sorry—”

“Don’t. I didn’t say that to make you feel guilty. I’m just trying to be honest with you. We need more of the truth between us if this ever has a prayer of working.”

Hope lit in those pale blue eyes. “You’ll try?”

Hell. That hope was a dagger to the chest. I sighed. “I don’t know if it’ll work. I can’t just make myself trust you. It’s going to take time, and I won’t be some secret—”

Riven shook his head vehemently. “I know. I already told Eva that our pretend relationship had to end.”

Jealousy swirled like thick, black tar in my belly. Even knowing there had never been anything between them, I still hated the idea of him alone with her. That wasn’t me. The few guys I’d dated, I’d never dealt with any real jealousy. Maybe because I’d never cared like this.

I swallowed it all down the best I could. “Thank you. I know it makes it harder for you with your dad—”

“I’ll deal with him.” Riven’s eyes bored into mine. “The last thing I want to do is hurt you. Keeping you away from me, from us, it seemed like the best way to keep you safe.”

My hands curled into fists, my fingernails digging into my palms. “I understand why you thought that. But that doesn’t change how much it hurts.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you.”

“I’m sorry you’ve had all of this on your shoulders alone for the past ten years.”

Because I could see how much it all weighed on him. If I wanted to step into the role destiny had given me, I had to lean into the empathetic part of me. Not the hurt, angry part. I’d always had an ability to see where others were coming from, but when I was hurt, I could shut that off. I couldn’t do that if I wanted to be the aether the elementals needed. And that had to start with Riven.

He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I thought I could take you to see Charlie and Janine. Would that help your homesickness?”

My chest tightened. It was so incredibly thoughtful. Hearing that I was suffering and wanting to do something to fix it. I missed Charlie so much it hurt. And I needed to have a long conversation with the woman who had played my mother for all these years. The question of why played on my tongue, but I didn’t want the answer from Riven. I wanted it from her.

“I’d like to see them.”

Riven nodded. “We’ll need to take the others with us. I don’t want to take guards. The fewer who know about the safe house location, the better.”

“Okay.” I looked up into those endless glacier eyes. “Thank you, Riven.”

And I let myself feel that gratitude, even if it was dangerous to my heart.

* * *

As the SUV pulled to a stop, my stomach lurched. With each step of the journey, my muscles had woven a little tighter. Getting into the SUV at the dorm. Stepping through the portal. The drive here.

I looked out at the house set in the woods. It looked like a picture out of the storybooks I’d read Charlie when he was little. From the stone façade of the cottage to the smoke curling out of the chimney.

My nose stung. This was what my mom and I had always wanted for him. A home where he was safe and could run around without worry.

A hand landed on my knee and a buzz lit beneath my skin. Riven simply rested his hand there as if assuring me of his presence. “Are you okay?”

“What do you think?” Kai mumbled.

I sent a glare in his direction. He and Phoenix had been nothing but surly and snarky since leaving campus.

I laid my hand on top of Riven’s. “Let’s go.”

Atlas opened his door, sliding out and offering me a hand. As I climbed down, he gave me a reassuring smile and a squeeze of his fingers.