Page 46 of The Lost Elemental

“They wanted me to suffer. To bleed out slow. And I did. But I made them suffer worse.”

Phoenix turned back to me. Little sparks danced in his irises. “I found every last one of them. For every slice they gave my sister, they gave me? I made them pay tenfold.”

I didn’t look away. I faced down that living, breathing rage inside Phoenix. That was his eternal flame. A piece of him. “Good.”

It was only one word. But it was what I could give him. The knowledge that I wasn’t scared of what lived inside him.

His fingers tightened on mine. “You don’t know, Aura. It’s a monster inside me. I have to feed it, or I could lose complete control.”

“How?”

Phoenix started to look away and then focused back on me, but it was as if he had to force himself to do it. That he didn’t want me to see this truth in him. “When it gets to be too much, I ask our guard for a list of criminals. The worst of the worst. Those that hurt people weaker than them. I find them. And I end them.”

He gripped my hand so hard my fingers tingled. “It’s a bloodlust. I don’t think it’ll ever be sated.”

I tugged my hand from his and Phoenix let me go instantly, but hurt streaked across his beautiful face. Only I didn’t leave. I moved closer, wrapping my arms around him. “I’m so sorry. It’s too much for anyone to bear. But you’re dealing. You use your pain to bring justice.”

Phoenix moved then, lifting me into his lap and nuzzling my neck. “Aura.”

“You can’t leave it all bottled up. You have to let it free, or it’ll kill you. This is how you let it free.” I couldn’t be sad that he did it either. Even if it meant people losing their lives. Because he sought those that were evil.

“Aura. You should stay away from me. I don’t bring good into people’s lives.”

His words were ragged, as though he were battling with himself to get them out.

I just clung harder to him. “I feel safe when I’m with you. I never feel safe.”

It was the simple truth. From that first night up on this roof, I’d felt eased by Phoenix’s presence. Just sitting with him had cleared away the remnants of the nightmare. I hadn’t felt that. Ever.

His lips skimmed my neck. “I’ll do anything to keep you that way.”

26

“I have to go.” Phoenix’s hand stroked up and down my spine.

Ripping myself away from him was the last thing I wanted to do. There was a comfort and peace I found in his arms that transcended anything logical. A comfort and a peace similar to what I’d felt when Atlas had carried me back to his dorm.

My insides gave a twist at that. I shouldn’t have been feeling this kind of pull to more than one person. And when you added Kai to the mix…I was screwed.

I forced myself to slide off Phoenix’s lap. “Are you okay?”

He smiled at me, the curve of his lips reaching his eyes for the first time. The effect was devastating. “I’m pretty sure you’re some kind of human Xanax because I feel…relaxed.”

He said the word as if it were a foreign term. I searched his face for any lines of strain or those glimmers of pain. “Relaxed is good, right?”

“I think so. It’s been so long since I’ve felt it that it’s hard for me to say. I don’t feel like ripping my brother’s spine out through his skull anymore. That’s good.”

I grimaced. “I don’t need that mental picture, thank you very much.”

Phoenix chuckled, pulling me to my feet as he stood. He bent, brushing his lips against my hair. “Thank you.”

The hum through my muscles intensified at the contact. “I’m here whenever you need me.”

The offer was dumb, monumentally stupid. But I couldn’t stop myself. I would’ve given anything to ease Phoenix’s burdens, even just a little.

“I’ll find you later.”

“Okay,” I said softly.