Page 18 of Breakaway

He created a safe space for me to be everything I couldn’t be–mainly mouthy and indignant–in the presence of Tobias. It’s the only way he knew how to help me at the time, but I don’t want us to revert to those coping mechanisms. They were born out of desperation, and we have better options available to us now that I’m not forced to play a part, pretending to be someone I never was. Dayton shouldn't be relegated to being an outlet for me to vent my frustrations, so I take a calming breath and mentally shake off what’s become my natural instinct to respond defensively where he’s concerned.

“Like hell,” Dayton scoffs, picking up a gym bag he’d discarded by his feet. “It’s too dangerous for you to be roaming around before daylight, in a place you aren’t familiar with. Let’s go.” He doesn’t wait for my response, just turns on his heel and heads for the gate that leads to the public sidewalk. I gape after him, wondering if it’s even possible to reroute my brain’s response to snap at him for ordering me around. Deciding today isn’t the day to work on that particular issue, I pivot, going the opposite direction and purposely ignoring his command.

“No thanks!” I throw out, careless of the early hour and any neighbors in the vicinity who might be sleeping. Once my feet hit the cracked pavement, it takes concentrated effort to keep from sprinting away. But this flicker of defiance welling up inside of me refuses him the pleasure.

“What the fuck?” Dayton mutters, scrambling to shoulder his bag as he runs after me. His pinky alone could overpower me, but so be it. “Jesus, hold on, will you?” I jolt to a stop and spin on my heel, causing him to stumble over his feet to keep from slamming into me. Hands on my hips, I glare at the man who’s always had a way of making my temper spark at the drop of a hat. From ice-cold one minute to fiery hot the next, no one’s as well-versed as Dayton in the art of provoking me.

“Shit, that didn’t come out right,” he sighs, brushing a hand over his short brown hair. “I’m just scared, Andi. You’re finally here, in the flesh, and a part of me still thinks this is all a dream. And then I find you wandering around, outside of the sun’s operating hours, and all those fears come surging to the forefront.” I deflate at his explanation.

“I get that I haven’t been a part of the real world for a very long time, but that doesn’t mean that I’m naive to the dangers that still exist. I understand that Veritas isn’t the only thing for me to be wary of, and truthfully, I had no intention of leaving the courtyard. I only did all of this,” I explain with a wave of my hand, generalizing the situation. “To prove that you aren’t the boss of me.” I lift my chin, sniffing indignantly, but I refuse to meet his eyes because all pretense of being annoyed will be forfeited when I inevitably smile at the ludicrous way we’re both behaving. Thankfully, Dayton is the first to break, a snort of laughter escaping him. Reaching out, he fists the front of my shirt and tugs me towards him, hugging me tightly while resting his chin on the top of my head.

“Old habits die hard, huh?” he questions quietly.

“Yeah, but they need to, though.” I sigh, extracting myself from his embrace.

“I didn’t mean for this to turn into a whole ordeal,” Dayton admits apologetically.

“I know.” I nod in understanding. “Truthfully, I just needed some fresh air.” I smile sheepishly.

“I get it,” Dayton responds, his gaze going distant. “It’s a lot of change, all at once. It makes sense that you’d feel a bit claustrophobic and want to take advantage of being able to come and go as you please now. Just…” he trails off, biting his bottom lip in contemplation. “Could you maybe let one of us know before you go anywhere?” He reads my thoughts before I can even voice them. “Not like that!” he rushes to say. “We have no desire to control you, Andi. We want to keep you safe, and unfortunately, the next few weeks are going to be intense, to say the least.”

I think about what he’s asking, knowing it’s not unreasonable, but trauma doesn’t exactly lend a helping hand to rationality. I know they’d never cage me the way Veritas did, but my body’s fight-or-flight response doesn’t know the difference; it simply recognizes the feeling of being controlled and associates it with all the times that Tobias would manipulate a situation to get whatever end result he desired. Every fiber of my being rejects the idea of placing myself in a similar position, of giving someone else authority over the decisions I make, but I tamp down the hysteria threatening to overwhelm me and allow logic to lead the way.

“I can do that,” I agree, my exhale shaky, but I’m confident in my assessment of the guys. We’ve spent seven months cultivating a friendship that most people couldn’t form over a lifetime.

“Thanks, Andi Girl.” Dayton winks, his flirtatious energy making a reappearance. “Let’s go then.”

“Go where exactly?” I question, following behind him nonetheless.

“You need some time outdoors, and I have somewhere to be. It just so happens those two things coincide. Come on, hop to it, Butterfly.” He tosses his bag in the back seat of a lifted Jeep Wrangler, then holds the passenger door open in invitation. I raise an eyebrow at the random nickname, but he only smiles in answer, patiently waiting for me to climb inside.

“I can’t be gone too long,” I state once he’s situated behind the wheel.

“You won’t be.”

Knowing I’m in safe and capable hands, I lean my head against the window and watch the scenery breeze past us. Dayton doesn’t bombard me with questions or attempt to make small talk. We simply coexist, sharing the quiet drive across town without any chatter. Twenty minutes later, he pulls into the parking lot of Chaplain County High School–home of the Hornets. We loop around the side, coming to a stop at the entrance of a sports complex. I climb out cautiously, gazing at the freshly built stadium in surprise. I have no experience to pull from, but this level of grandeur seems more on par with collegiate teams.

“Take this. You’ve been shivering since we were in the courtyard.” I eye the sweatshirt Dayton’s offering, wondering where it came from since he’s still wearing his own. “It’s clean. I keep an extra in the car.”

I nod and slip it on, happy to have a barrier against the chilly morning air. He takes off at a brisk pace, forcing me to lengthen my strides if I want to keep up with him. It’s dark, but the closer we move towards the football field, the better I can see. Voices trickle between the bleachers, making my steps slow with apprehension. We exit the pathway, coming face-to-face with a large group of boys.

“Yo, Coach D! Who’s the hotty?”

“Three laps, Gabe! Get to runnin’,” Dayton snaps harshly. The boy groans but takes off a second later. “Anyone else got something disrespectful to say?”

“No, Coach,” they answer in unison.

“Good. This is Andi. She’s going to be assisting me today. Unless you want to look stupid in front of a beautiful woman, I suggest you give it your all.” I shake my head in dismay, knowing that Dayton is going to embarrass them every chance he gets. Something tells me he’s the type to use humility as a teaching tool. “Let’s start with suicides.”

He lines them up, then blows the whistle. They sprint back and forth, pausing intermittently before he signals it’s time to go again. I’m only watching, and it exhausts me. I have no idea if Dayton’s spiel is serving as motivation, but their stamina is rather impressive. One guy stops to vomit, then wipes his mouth and keeps on trucking. After that, I stick to the sidelines, not wanting an up-close view of anyone else getting sick.

“Feel free to take a seat,” Dayton offers, pointing at the bleachers behind me. “There’s a protein bar and a bottle of water inside my gym bag. It’s yours if you want it.”

I shuffle over, hissing when the cool metal bench brushes against my exposed flesh. Propping my feet on the row below me, I tuck my hands inside the borrowed sweatshirt and hug my knees. I blank my thoughts and focus on the monotonous drills they cycle through, grateful to have a short reprieve. When my stomach starts to growl, I check Dayton’s bag for the food he mentioned. Buried beneath a change of clothes, I find a single protein bar. Grabbing it, I glance at said man, curious as to why he would offer me something if he only had one. He wouldn’t have brought it with him if he didn’t intend to eat it, yet he’s willing to forfeit his breakfast so I don’t go hungry.

I stare at the bar in my hand–at the plain, generic packaging, my fingers trembling as I toy with the seam of the wrapper. It’s just a stupid snack, but the meaning behind his innocent offer still packs a punch. He’s been kinder to me, even when his approach is brash, than Tobias ever thought of being over the past six years. I think his betrayal was especially painful because I never saw it coming. It never occurred to me that he was playing a part. I’d have bet my life on the two of us burning Veritas to the ground together, and even now, I struggle to rationalize who it was I fell in love with.

I’ve considered every option–if he was nothing more than a mirage I crafted, my desperate mind giving him attributes that never existed. Or maybe he was everything I thought he was, but the pressure of filling his father’s footsteps became too much. Tobias was always fickle when it came to following orders, so it’d make sense for him to jump at the opportunity Kennedy’s declining health presented. If he were the one in charge, he wouldn’t have to do anyone else’s bidding. It doesn’t hurt as bad if I pretend it was never real, because how can you love someone the way he portrayed to love me and then violate them in the most heinous of ways? I’d rather he had faked every moment we spent together than accept that as a possibility.