Page 27 of Forged in Fading

“Trying doesn’t matter if you can’t do it.” Aurilena watched flames dance along her fingertips as she spoke. “You think I’m hard on you.” It wasn’t a question.

“I know you’re hard on me.”

Aurilena dropped her hand, extinguishing her magic. “There’s danger in not understanding your powers. And it can destroy the things you love in a heartbeat.” She looked up at the sun, the flaming symbol of her kingdom, and closed her eyes. “This movement, the people here—it’s all I have.”

“And that’s why you’re so…”

“Warm and fuzzy with everyone,” Aurilena said with what Alvara almost dared to call the hint of a smile.

“Things must really not be going well if Aurilena’s resorted to motivational speeches.” Boden leaned against a nearby tree, his tunic clean of their interaction the day before.

Aurilena shot a small fireball into the snow at his feet. “I was trying something new. Your method normally, isn’t it, Boden?”

“He does love to hear himself talk,” Alvara muttered, and a pebble bounced off her head. “Ow!”

“I was happy to let you train her,” Aurilena said, “but you refused. Unless you forgot.”

“I’ve reconsidered,” Boden said, pushing off the tree. “Give me a few hours and I’ll see what I’m able to do.”

“Happily. It’s always too damn cold out here.” Aurilena rubbed her arms and strolled back toward the city, not bothering to stop as she tossed her next comment over her shoulder. “Think about what I said, Alvara.”

That meant Alvara was now left alone with Boden. Anger and shame at her failure with magic heated her skin, and she grabbed her dagger and threw it at the nearest tree. It split the bark in two with a thud.

Boden whistled. “Impressive, but it still isn’t magic.”

Alvara yanked her weapon free. “What are you really doing here?”

“As I’ve said, I’ve decided to help train you. I won’t risk you hurting anyone here due to your lack of control.”

“How chivalrous of you.” There was no way Alvara could handle touching her magic now, not when the very sight of Boden unearthed her father’s corpse and left it to rot alongside her thoughts. She needed to silence it all—lock it away and toss the key in the fire.

So, she barged past him toward the reliable monotony of the forge, even though Sithuren wouldn’t be expecting her for at least a few hours, when her training for the day should have ended.

Boden’s footsteps crunched behind her. “I am only trying to help you, Alvara. You may not believe me, but everything I have done, everything I am doing, is an effort to dig you out of the hole you seem so insistent on hiding in.”

She stopped and clenched her fists, knuckles straining from the effort. He had no grounds to judge her when he knew nothing of suffering—he worked for a king. A life spent surrounded by riches and servants. “That hole? It’s the only thing keeping me sane. Something I doubt you could even begin to understand. Thank you for your help, but I won’t be needing it.”

With that, she headed to the forge to lose herself in her work.

Weapons didn’t heal, but at least they kept their mouths shut and knew when to leave her damn well alone.

Avoiding training the next morning was liberating. Here, dealing with metal instead of unreliable people and even more unreliable magic, this was where she was meant to be. Sithuren had even left for a short time to deliver an order across the city, leaving her in blessed silence.

She struck the weapon before her, sending sparks flying.

“Alvara!” Kat’s voice rang out, a hammer to her fragile peace. “Lena’s waiting for you. She was going to come get you herself, but you know how she is. I thought it’d be better if I talked to you.”

Alvara said nothing as she pounded away at the metal, a delicious burn running through her aching muscles. She tried her best to ignore the memory of her father’s blood-soaked chest each time she glanced at the blade.

“Lena told me to tell you, well, I don’t really agree with it, but she said that didn’t matter. And I told her it did but⁠—”

“What do you want?” Alvara set her work aside and turned to face Kat. Subtlety had never been her strength, and she had no patience left for people who talked her in circles without giving any real information.

“Lena said you can’t stay if you’re not willing to work on your magic.” Kat winced. “They’re all worried you’re too dangerous to be around. We’ve let in others in the past who didn’t have the best control of their powers and, well…it didn’t end well.”

Of course. Just more people who saw her as something too broken, not worth the time and effort. The sinking feeling in Alvara’s stomach was nothing new. “Tell Aurilena that I can handle myself. I have no interest in using my magic.”

“I’m sorry, Alvara, but I don’t think it’s negotiable, not after the guards saw you attack Boden.” Kat eyed the dagger strapped to Alvara’s hip. “And it definitely didn’t help when Aurilena heard how you kind of almost froze him to his fading. What we have going here is so fragile, especially now, and we can’t risk something going wrong.”