Page 44 of Merciless
I took the verbal jab on the chin and did as he asked. “So no, I don’t think I truly loved her. I just latched onto what she represented. Nikita was my only source of survival, and I held on to that for far too long.”
I risked my luck by leaning forward and laying my palm over his fist, stealing a small connection for myself.
“None of these could ever excuse or justify the betrayal I dealt to you or your mother. I’m just trying to give you my most honest thoughts.”
Colton gasped. The intake was subtle, but I caught it. Which only made another form of self-hatred take over. I sacrificed my son for someone I didn’t even love. The realisation was excruciating, especially when he pushed my hand off, breaking that physical bond.
“I can’t accept that,” he said. “You say you had no one, you say you were alone and lost. What about me? Your son?” His expression contorted in a myriad of emotions. “When given a choice, William, you chose. But you didn’t expect to choose wrong. Only now, in the aftermath, do you finally see where your choices have led you.”
I was about to deny it when he cut me off. “Tell me, Dad, where would we be right now if I hadn’t revealed that your precious wife was the villain?”
I sighed. “I’d still be here, in hospital, awaiting a kidney transplant.”
Colton’s eyes narrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’m dying, Colt.”
Chapter 27
COLTON
I scoffed. As if I didn’t know that already.
“Is that why you kept her around?” I asked. “To play nurse? She would have been paid handsomely for it too—after your death, of course.”
William flinched. “I’ve started the annulment process. I won’t let her filthy hands get anything—”
“You mean anything more than the millions she’s already stolen from me, right?
His chin dropped to his chest. “I’m sorry. I was hurting—”
“So, you’ve said. But I haven’t heard you once acknowledge what happened to me. Do you even recognise the damage you wrought?” I asked, my voice hoarse and desperate as I stabbed a finger against my sternum. “I am a fucking broken human being. One beyond repair or redemption. I am a monster, born out of survival. A mistrusting man who can never live a normal life. And it is all your fault.”
“I understand,” William said, eyes full of tears and acceptance.
I slashed a hand through the air, his response infuriating. “No, you don’t. How could you possibly know? You corrupted my innocence, hijacked my grief and refused me the one thing I needed the most—my father.”
I deflated, each word lined with anguish as I unloaded on him. “I just needed you, Dad… But you weren’t there. Why weren’t you there for me?”
His features were twisted as if he were in the most exquisite pain. “I wasn’t in my right mind, son. I was unbearably selfish and was only thinking—”
“Of yourself? Yeah, I know. You proved that at every opportunity, without any regard to your only child.”
“Please believe me. I never meant to hurt you. I love you.”
“I don’t love you,” I snapped back. “The father I loved died right alongside my mother.”
He was quietly sobbing then. “Colton, please, I’m sick. I don’t want to spend my last remaining time without you. Let me make amends while I still can.”
I stared at him then, drowning beneath a sea of suppressed feelings and sorrow. I found myself at a crossroads. I had to make a monumental decision—one that would change the trajectory of my entire future.
After Mum passed away, William’s health declined and never seemed to recover. A couple of years in, and he was diagnosed with kidney disease, leading to regular dialysis and the search for a kidney.
What William didn’t know was that I was a match.
I had undergone extensive testing and cross-matching to be certain, my need for control so far-reaching that I couldn’t let that unknown remain untouched. However, having that confirmation had caused a war within me. Until now.
William had lost everything. I had singlehandedly stripped away his business, his home, his reputation, his new love, and his main support. Yet, why did it not feel like enough?
