Page 34 of One Last Thing Before You Go

“Anyway, my parents started having this affair. Ma was in her senior year of college and just about to graduate when she found out she was pregnant with me.” He pauses for a moment, runs his hand through his hair. “Now, according to my mother, when she told my father about me at graduation, he flat-out said he wanted nothing to do with me. Told her to get rid of the baby or count him out.”

I suppress a gasp, not wanting to interrupt his story.

“To clarify, I’m all about women’s right to choose. But it’s a little difficult to grow up knowing that your dad wanted you to be… You know.” He shrugs again, grimacing.

“Apparently ugly words were exchanged, comments about how she would only ever be a good time to him were said. Mom called him every name in the book and threatened to sue for child support. It got ugly.” He shrugs.

“Of course, I know that there are two sides to every story. I understand that memories are usually tainted by emotions. She was a vulnerable recent grad who had decided to have a kid by herself. She didn’t have anyone to support her emotionally or help her financially.”

Knox takes a deep breath and shifts in his seat before continuing. “Anyway, that was the last time they spoke. That is, until I was about ten when my mom got in a car accident that left her in pretty rough shape. She kinda had no other choice but to contact Walter and have him take care of me while she recovered. See, we used to move around a lot, never staying in one place long enough to build a support system, so Walter was her last resort.

“So, even though I’d never met the man, he showed up for me. Put his life on hold and rented an apartment in town. Took me to school and was there for me while Ma was in the hospital for a month.” He pauses for a second while I do my best to keep quiet, realizing that this is a big moment for him, as if he’s finally coming to terms with something.

“In retrospect, it was a very big thing of him to do—to drop his entire life for a couple of months just to take care of this kid he’d never met.”

“For what it’s worth, I can’t imagine him ever not showing up like that.”

Knox nods, frowning as he keeps his eyes on the road.

I think of ten-year-old Knox, scared and alone, not knowing who his future rested with. I think of him and how unstable he must’ve felt his life was. “It must’ve been difficult to suddenly be under the care of a man you grew up thinking didn’t want you while your mother was in the hospital under critical care.”

“Definitely difficult,” he nods once. “But we figured it out. Eventually. And when my mom came back from the hospital, Da—I mean, Walter—quit his job at the university and moved permanently into town to get to know me better. Or at least that’s what he said.” He laughs once. “He wanted to be a part of my life and my mother made it clear that we weren’t moving to be a part of his. If Walter wanted to know me, he had to compromise. So he did. He stayed, which meant that we stayed. And I was… ecstatic. I was finally going to be in one place for a significant amount of time. I could finally have friendships that lasted longer than six months. I could… I could join a sports team or something.”

I snort, and he gives me a look, a small smile. “Sorry, you just don’t look like the type to be into organized sports.” Though he has the body of an athlete, that’s for damn sure.

He throws his head back and laughs that full, happy laugh of his. “Definitely not into organized sports. But that wasn’t the point. The point was that we had help now, and my life opened up to new possibilities. For the first time ever, I felt safe.”

My heart aches for the child in Knox, lost and alone, finally feeling the relief of a stable home. Did he lose that when he and Walter became estranged?

“How many times did you move? You said you moved every six months?”

“Yeah. I was born in Virginia, but my mom kept us moving north. We were living in a suburban town in New Jersey when she got into the accident, and that’s where I spent the rest of my childhood.”

“Wow,” I say again, because it’s the only thing that comes to mind.

He shakes his head and frowns. “I just want to clarify that it’s not like I don’t appreciate all the sacrifices and work my mom put in. She’s a fucking rockstar. And it’s not like everything became perfect and Walter saved us. But he helped stabilize us, you know? And I needed that as a kid.”

“Of course. Your mother did everything she could with what she had, I’m sure. But it must’ve felt nice to have that additional support.”

“Exactly,” he smiles.

“Where’s your mom now?”

“She works at a community college, actually. A couple of towns away from where I grew up. Not as a professor or anything—an admin. She’s been doing great ever since. Loves what she does.”

I smile over at him, see how his lips quirk up at the corner in admiration. From the faraway look in his eyes, it’s obvious he loves his mom, admires her for everything she’s done for him.

“So, how’d you end up in this fight with your dad, not speaking to each other for over a decade? I mean, it sounds like Walter showed up, in the end, right? And that’s what family does. They show up.”

“Ah.” He bobs his head. “The official falling out story is a bit more complicated; a story for another time.”

“Whoa, whoa, that’s not fair.” I laugh once, on the edge of my seat—figuratively and literally. “You promised.”

“Ever heard of leaving them wanting more?” He smirks.

“C’mon,” I plead.

He pauses, hesitating. “I… I’d rather not talk about it now, if that’s okay. I’m good with talking about the genesis of it all, but our falling out? That... I can’t do that right now.” His face falls.