Page 31 of Between Two Barbarians

Without a word, Torgind plucked me up, making me squawk in protest before he took the seat I’d been in a moment earlier with me in his lap instead. I settled since I didn't mind the arrangement as long as he didn’t end my conversation early, and accepted the bowl of food Brenek handed me when he came to join us a moment later.

“How much prep exactly is needed to take them both?” I demanded, accepting the cup Torgrind offered me and taking a sip. It was water, not ale like I preferred, but he sometimes switched between the two throughout the night, and I found I didn't mind since he never demanded I stop drinking entirely. If a cup of water here and there kept them both happy and ensured I’d get fucked without them complaining about me being too drunk, I’d take it.

“There’s no such thing as too much prep,” Simon replied, eyes narrowing on me. A slow grin swept across his face. “Look at you… They’ve got you handled, don’t they?”

I felt my body stiffen, even as I demanded, “What do you mean?”

Zakai pointed between me and my barbarians, a smug look on his face. “I don’t think you even notice the way they handle you. I didn’t think I’d ever see the day you’d accept that kind of treatment.”

Handle me?

They both used that word, and it felt… wrong. Like they were saying Torgrind and Brenek controlled me. Like they tamed me. No one controlled me. I made my own choices and did what I wanted. I would never let myself be forced into something I didn’t want. I got enough of that at home.

Irritation at the idea that my barbarians controlled me flared hot in my chest, though I did my best to hide it. Forcing a smirk, I insisted, “There is no handling. Or if there is, it is the other way around. I am the same as I’ve always been.”

To prove my point, I grabbed my cup, tossing back the rest of the alcohol inside and pushing to my feet. “Yngvar should be done as well now. I want you to taste his liquor. I’ll be right back.”

And this time, I wouldn’t be letting my barbarians stop me from having fun. I could do as I wished. I would never allow someone to tame me.

TORGRIND

Something changed while Brenek and I had been training. When I had left him, he had been a little upset, but not so much that I had been worried. I’d intended to apologize for our absence and looked forward to hearing what he’d gotten up to while we were gone. It was my hope that he would find his place here. I knew he couldn’t do that unless there was more than just me and Brenek to keep him happy. I’d thought a little time alone might give him a chance to find amusement outside a liquor bottle.

I was wrong.

After he returned with a bottle of ale from Yngvar, telling me casually that our clan brother demanded trade for it since he intended to take the whole bottle, he didn’t return to sitting in my lap. He sat close enough to Simon and Zakai that their knees touched, an eager grin on his face as he poured them each a cup of ale.

That alone would not have bothered me, he was excited to spend time with his friends, he’d told me as much on our journey here, but as the night wore on, he seemed more and more dismissive of both mine and Brenek’s attentions. He batted my hands away when I tried to switch out his cup for water, turning his face to ignore the food Brenek offered him. And when I tried suggesting he slow down, knowing he would be upset if he could not have us after the evening was through, he gave me a look so dark, it shocked me.

“I don’t need permission to drink, Torgrind. You are not my father or my husband to make such demands.”

The sharpness in his tone made me pull away, unsure what I’d done to make him say such things.

“Varakai?” Brenek asked, the confusion in his tone only seeming to irritate Jamal further.

“What? I’m busy speaking with my friends.”

Said friends were too busy pouring each other more drinks to have overheard the conversation, the same flush to their cheeks that Jamal had telling me they were all too drunk to focus.

“We do not wish to stop your fun, varakai. We only wish to–”

“We. What is this we? You’ve been saying for weeks you couldn’t stand each other and now you are a team? Why? To better control me?”

Brenek’s head jerked back like Jamal had slapped him, and his tone was rough when he demanded, “When did I say I wished to do so? I never–”

Waving a dismissive hand, Jamal turned his back away from us both. “Go play with each other if you’re that lonely. I’m fine here.”

I shared a confused look with my clan brother, switching to our mother tongue. “Did something happen, do you think?”

Brenek shook his head slowly. “I do not know. Was he truly that upset about us training that he would act like this now?”

I hadn’t thought so. He’d pouted about it, but he’d seemed to understand that we were needed when our clan leader called for us. So then why…

Jamal tipped a full cup back, drinking the contents in its entirety in one swallow, and I felt my stomach clench. He drank like that when he first arrived with the clan. Like he would only find happiness at the bottom of a bottle of ale. I’d thought the attention from Brenek and I had been enough to show him otherwise. There was nothing wrong with having a little fun. We all did it. But drinking to excess wasn’t worth the pain and suffering he would face the following morning.

“Tavi…”

He ignored the pet name, so I tried again.