Page 77 of Between Two Kings

You are beginning to transition, Tem. I can feel it.

It was true. Tem’s skin was crawling—pricks of electricity tingled up her spine, threatening to engulf her. She tried to control her breathing, but she couldn’t. The familiar fire burned within her chest, threatening to explode. She couldn’t transition here. She had to keep everyone safe—had to keep Leo safe. But at the thought of Leo, Tem only became warmer.

Focus on something else, Tem.

I can’t.

Her hands were clenched around the napkin in her lap, which was beginning to smolder. Tem could smell the burning fabric. She was sweating now, great droplets running between her breasts. It was as if she had the world’s worst fever.

You must control it.

I’m telling you, I can’t.

You can do anything, Tem.

I’m so angry, Caspen. I’m—HELP ME.

An immediate, soothing wave of calm flowed from his mind to hers. Tem leaned into it, pulling it desperately toward her, covering herself with as much of it as possible. It was like dunking her head in a cold bucket of water. Her eyes opened slowly, and when they did, clarity returned.

The dinner had gone on without Tem. Evelyn was still speaking, and Caspen was nodding his head at whatever she was saying. But Leo was staring straight at her, his gray eyes piercing hers. His face was drawn in a frown.

What’s wrong? he mouthed.

Tem shook her head. Leo’s frown deepened.

She must look like a mess right now. There was no way to hide the physical tells: the sweat, the flush, the shortness of breath. Even the candles couldn’t account for the smell of smoke that now hung in the air.

“Tem,” Leo said out loud.

The table fell silent as everyone looked at her.

Why had he done that? “Yes?” Tem answered as smoothly as she could.

Leo held her eye contact. “Is everything in order?”

“Of course,” she said. “I just need to freshen up. Will you excuse me?”

Without waiting for an answer, Tem stood and left the room. The cavernous ceiling of the hallway loomed over her as she ran for the closest bathroom, ending up in the one with the golden sink. Tem gripped the sides of the mirror, staring at her reflection. Her eyes were bloodshot. A single bead of sweat ran down her temple. She wiped it away with her hand just as a knock came at the door.

“Tem?”

A woman’s voice. One she’d heard before, in this very bathroom. Lilly, Leo’s sister.

Tem didn’t move. She didn’t want to see anyone right now. Not only that but she didn’t trust herself yet—what if she was still in danger of transitioning?

“Go away, Lilly.”

“Tem. Let me in.”

A moment passed. Tem had a feeling Lilly would stand there until she obeyed.

With a sigh, she opened the door. Without saying a word, Lilly drew her into a hug. At first, Tem stiffened at the contact. Then she let the embrace deepen, leaning on the woman before her and allowing herself to be held.

“What’s wrong?” Lilly murmured. “You can talk to me.”

Tem just shook her head. She couldn’t talk to anyone, couldn’t voice the doubts that gripped her like a vise.

“You still love him, don’t you?”