Page 9 of Tethered Fates

Vidar doesn’t budge an inch, and that pisses me off more.

This whole thing pisses me off, and it hurts. I can handle things. I’m allowed to have my own thoughts and feelings. Fuck them for shoving me in a corner, demanding I accept what they want without having a single thought for what I want.

It happened once. Not again. Not from anyone.

I square my shoulders. “You don’t want me around, Kai? Fine. You got it,” I spit, trying to keep down the pressure building behind my eyes.

Kai moves closer, but I step back. “Please don’t say that, Teagan.”

Turning, I rush towards the entrance and rip open the door, my feet crunching across the pebbled courtyard as I force myself further away from Kai.

“At least let me drive you home!”

“Don’t bother.” I throw over my shoulder.

“Teagan,” Kai calls out, chasing after me. “Don’t be stubborn.”

I spin on him, my nails chipping away the green paint on my skateboard. “Fine. Tell me why, big bro, when I hugged you…” My shoulders tremble. “Why are you cold?”

Kai goes deathly still.

I swallow, my bottom lip trembling. “Are you sick? Has he made you sick?”

Vidar, his large frame filling out the doorway, stills. It’s a weird stillness, like he’s become a statue. Not even his chest rises. He doesn’t even blink. It causes a shiver of fear to crawl up my spine.

Kai steps forward, nervously tugging his braids. “I just want you to be safe.”

“If you gotta hurt and lie to someone, that ain’t keeping them safe. That’s keeping you safe.”

Kai lets out a trembling, wet breath, and I immediately want to apologise.

This is my big brother. I might not have had much of a plan when I decided to gatecrash, but fighting wasn’t even on the list.

Vidar wraps his meaty paws around Kai’s waist, and whatever apology I was about to mumble dies on my tongue. Why does this stranger get to know more about my family than me?

It isn’t fair.

I twist around and rush away from the mansion, paint-stained trainers kicking up pebbles as I turn into the dark, empty road. Kai cries out my name, but he doesn’t follow.

Good. I don’t want him to.

Soon enough, I slow into a walk. It isn’t as fun going fast when my skateboard is broken, and I wanna cry.

I drag my feet along the pockmarked road, annoyed that I’ll soon need to turn back. I’m in the middle of nowhere, and I might be stubborn, but I’m not walk-all-the-way-back-into-the-city stubborn.

But first, I gotta blow off steam. The gentle breeze is cold, but refreshing as it rushes over my overheated face, and this long road gives me time to think.

I wish Kai wouldn’t keep secrets. I wish…it wouldn’t cause memories of uni to resurface, of being trapped in a corner, surrounded by shrill laughter.

More than anything, I wish I could get over these hurts.

And I wish Sen would come back. He wouldn’t make anything better, I don’t even know the guy. But as I keep walking, a small part of my mind thinks if I just keep on going…I’ll find him.

I blow out a raspberry.

I’m a fucking idiot.

And now, like a bigger idiot, I gotta go back to deal with Kai and Vidar.